Seattle Is Bad.....Want Some Popcorn?

Interesting times this weekend. A roadtrip to the best city in the world with not one, but TWO new roadie partners. It didn't quite turn into the drunk-fest that I thought it might of been (well, at least for two of us. The third seemed pretty wasted by the time we got back to the hotel...haha). But I still had a fairly good time. Here's about how it went.....

Saturday morning started off on a shitty note for me. First, Tom came over just before I left. Now, I had told him the night before that I was leaving at 11:30am. So what does he do? He comes over at 11:25am and proceeds to talk and talk forever. The guy may be my best friend, but he has to learn when to take the phrase "I gotta go" to heart. Then, once he left and I got everything together, I went out to my car only to find it blocked by a truck and trailer by the people who were moving out of the apartment across the court from me. I stood there for about a minute until the old guy came out with a box of stuff. I asked him if he could move his truck so I could get out. He told me "we'll be done in about a half-hour". I couldn't believe that! "But I gotta go now" I answered. He shot me the skunk-eye and said "tough. You'll have to wait".

No way. I had people I had to meet and I was already running behind. So I marched down to the managers office and drug her outside. The two of them proceeded to get into a shouting match. You can learn alot in shouting matches. Like the fact that some people don't feel like paying for rent. Not that they couldn't afford it. They just flat didn't feel like forking over the dough. Well, after about 10 minutes of bickering, the manager finally whipped open her cell phone and called the cops. Not too suprisingly, that action convinced that old fart to finally get his ass in his truck and move it out of my way.

Okay...now instead of getting there a few minutes early, I was running a good 30 minutes behind. It didn't help out much that I was sorta misled by mapquest with their directions to Jacque's salon. According to the website, it was supposed to be on the right side of the road. Well, it wasn't. So I drove a good 10 blocks further than I had to trying to find it before I finally turned around and called Jacque for help.

We left my car in the parking lot there. Which, to be honest, worried the hell out of me. Every now and again as Saturday and Sunday morning rolled along, I would worry about it a little bit. So it was a huge relief when we got back there this morning to see that it was still intact (lol).

Riding along with Jacque is a great experience. I described her driving style to Karin as like riding with Tom W...only without the daredevil antics brought on by senseless acts of road rage (lol). But she's a pro. She even handles the downtown Vancouver traffic with ease. She's been there quite a few times. So she can handle that madness without much effort. And for those of you who haven't had the chance to drive around downtown Vancouver, take Kristi's quote here (that she told me later on at the game) to heart. She said "dude, you were right about the traffic downtown. There's no way I could ever drive in that shit".

Exactly.

The tunes were blaring out of the speakers non-stop. Our DJ was.....yes, Emily (lol). She brought her I-Pod along. And the thing was definitely full. She had all sorts of music on there; new rock, classic rock, hip-hop, pop. There was even a bunch of country music that I was forced to listen to (lol). But they were smart about it. Unlike Lindsay a couple years ago on my first trip to St. Louis, they never asked me my opinion of country music (lol). But it was okay. It's not like it was a never ending string of that. I just grinned and beared it.

Due to popular demand by the public (specifically the three girls in the car...lol), I was ordered to write about the "highlight" of the music portion. At one point, as we were closing in on Vancouver, Emily played the jilted female anthem "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. All three of them sang/yelled and danced along to the song. The funniest part was watching Emily use her Coke bottle as a microphone. I think of all the things, that'll be the lasting image in my mind of this trip (lol).

Closing in on the border, there was this sign up on an overpass that said the wait at the border was 20 minutes at the Peace Arch. It also said that the wait was 5 minutes at the truck crossing. We all needed money, so at first we decided to cross at the Peace Arch. But when we got there, the line stretched all the way back to the freeway! Jacque and I both said, at the same time, "fuck that". So we turned around and doubled-back to the truck crossing. That one wasn't as bad...maybe about 20-30 minutes. But it still wasn't close to the 5 minutes that was posted on that sign.

As we approached the truck crossing, we noticed that there was a sign on the window of the Duty-Free store saying that you can exchange cash. So we pulled off there and headed inside. Of course, as it almost always happens, we got stuck behind the guy who had $1200 worth of cash to trade in. After waiting through 10 minutes of paper signings and ID checks, we got our chance. It took Kristi, Jacque and I a total of about two minutes to get our Canadian cash.

Things were uneasy for a little bit while we waited in line. Not because of what was lying ahead at the booth. Rather, there was a bit of tension in the car as we sat next to a small bus full of people in turbans. See, you have to remember that they're always telling us up here how the border crossings are terrorist targets. So even though it was never said, I think we were all thinking "please don't blow us up". But as we passed them, I started feeling ashamed of myself a little bit. I couldn't believe that I was falling victim to Dubya's Kingdom of Fear like that.

After getting through customs, it was now time to head to our hotel in downtown Vancouver. We stayed at The Listel on Robson street. It was a little more spendy than I usually get. But it was in a prime location. I think the only room I ever paid more for was the one I had in Chicago last summer. That one was on the top floor and had killer views of the Sears Tower and Lake Michigan. The best The Listel could offer was a view of the many condo's Vancouver has to offer. Oh, they're nice buildings. But it's not Chicago (lol).

Our fridge was stocked full of liquor. You name it, they had it. Beer, rum, scotch, whiskey...it was all there. But we figured we better not drink any of it since those little bottles would probably run about $10 apiece.

After ooing and awwing at our room, it was time for us to head out to the PNE. On our way out of the hotel parking lot, we pulled right up behind a Lamborghini Gallardo. Good Lord.....that thing looked like it was going 225mph just sitting there idle! Jacque stated the obvious when she said "I'm more worried about ramming him from behind than I am about anyone else on the road". Frankly, I didn't blame her. I was nervous for her at the same time (lol). But along the road, I sat there wondering to myself what would it be like if I was driving a car like that and everyone along the sidewalk was staring at me as I drove by. Which is what was happening. Then the thoughts turned to "what would it be like if I even had enough money to afford a beast like that"? That train of thought started depressing me. So I tried thinking about other things.

Ahhhh Hastings Street. Nothing quite like it. Although, as we drove along there, I was suprised that there weren't as many transients and junkies along there like there normally is. But I wound up finding where they were. There was this one alley that had three or four dumpsters that people were digging through, along with several "transactions" taking place between various people. And I'm sure that they were all legal (lol).

A small argument broke out along the way about who saw this billboard of Keifer Sutherland first. I now knew how Karin probably found my reaction to that Portland LumberJax billboard by the Rose Quarter so strange (lol).

As we were approaching the hotel we were dropping Kristi off in, the Holiday Inn across the street from the PNE, Jacque came up with an ingenius idea. We would have Kristi register Jacque's car under her name so we could park in the Holiday Inn garage for free. Perhaps not as devient as Tom and I skipping out on that parking bill downtown there a couple years ago. But I still enjoyed skirting the system like that.

We were all hungry. So we went to the finest dining establishment in all of Vancouver; the Burger King a block from the Holiday Inn. When we sat down, I looked at the packets of ketchup and told Jacque that I had to find some Canadian ketchup for Joe in St. Louis. Then, once again as has happened a couple times over the last few months, a debate broke out as to what was better...American or Canadian ketchup. If I remember the sides correctly, Kristi and I said there was no difference and Jacque and Emily said there was (I think. I may be wrong there as to which side Kristi and Emily were on). Eventually the debate petered out and we ate our dinner.

As we approached the Pacific Coliseum, we ran into a scalper out front. Jacque asked if he had any tickets in the front row. He said he didn't have front row, but he had second row in the corner behind the net the T-Birds goalie would be defending twice. That was perfect for them, so they bought the tickets from him. It's not exactly where I like to sit, but Jacque paid for my ticket. So I wasn't complaining (lol).

The people sitting next to us was a dad and his three sons. The youngest of which was probably around 3 or 4 years old. He had a Giants emblem painted on his face. He also cried alot. So that emblem was a mess by the time the game was over (lol). At one point, the dad told his youngest "we're rooting for the Giants. They're from here in Vancouver. Seattle is bad.....want some popcorn"? For some reason, that line struck me as funny. I told Kristi (who was sitting next to me) right then and there that that was gonna be the title for this story (lol). The dad was also drinking like a fish in a brewery. At first, I was kinda worried about that. But later on, his wife and the kids mom came along. She seemed sober, so I felt a little better.

As for the game; it was Vancouver all the way. For the second night in a row, the Giants beat and pounded the Thunderbirds up and down the ice. The final score was 4-1. Kristi was happy since she was rooting for Vancouver. Jacque and Emily took solice in the fact that the T-Birds at least "won the fights". Which I think was fairly accurate. Although I didn't think Thomas Hickey did all that well in his scrap. But hey.....winning 4 out of 5 fights isn't all that bad. Especially in a debacle like that (lol).

My drinking started at the game. I had three beers there. But they were spread out over each period. I bought Krisit a couple Smirnoff Ice's (since she apparently had no money). And I think Emily and Jacque had a beer apiece. So I was already off and running...even though I felt bad that I broke my promise to hold back and wait for Jacque so we could start at the same time (lol).

When the game was over, Kristi went along her way and Jacque and Emily went down to the locker room area to talk to some of the Thunderbirds. I wasn't too up to hanging around outside a locker room like that. So I went outside and just waited for them there. Out by the doors, they had this cool standing heater thing. It looked like a standing lamp. So I stood there under that to keep warm. But after about 15 minutes, some guy who worked at the arena came out and took it away from me (lol). But it still helped out in keeping me warm.

After a little bit, I saw Jacque and Emily walking out towards the door. But then, they peeled off and started walking towards the White Spot. I thought to myself "don't they know how cold it is out here"? But it turns out they had a good reason. Emily had lost her drivers license somewhere in the Coliseum that night. Which obviously sucks. But there were no worries about her getting back into the States since she had a passport. I made a note to myself that I still have to get one of those for me sometime soon here (lol).

After sneeking out of the Holiday Inn garage, we went back to our hotel to drop our stuff off. At first, we decided to hit the bar there in the hotel. But as we walked up to it, we noticed that it looked a little high-brow for us. So we decided to go across the street to the place Kurt and I haunted last December...Fogg & Suds.

The place was more busy on Saturday night than it had been when Kurt and I were there. We even had to wait to be seated. But that happened farily quickly. What wasn't quick was our waitress. You could tell she was being paid by the hour since that's about how long it took her to visit our table each time. We each ordered something to eat. I had a small pizza that was about the same quality as one of the frozen ones you can buy at the grocery store. Jacque ordered some nachos and calimarri (which wasn't all that good). And Emily ordered a shrimp cocktail. Which, ironically, was the same thing Kurt ordered when we were there.

Oh yes...the drinks (lol). I just ordered Molson. Jacque had what was called a Kermit's Third Leg. Which, according to her, was pretty much a blue tropical martini. She let me take a sip of it. And it was pretty fuckin' good. Emily drank rum and coke. So we sat there drinking away. When it was all done, I had a really good buzz going in my head. I wasn't all-out shitfaced like I thought I might get that night. I think there were two reasons for that. The first was that it was announced to me earlier that day that we had to get up early so we could get Kristi back to work by noon on Sunday. And, for some strange reason, I just didn't feel like drinking much more after my second beer there. I still had another one. But it just seemed like I had my fill of it that night.

Jacque didn't seem all that bad. And neither did Emily...until we got back to the hotel room (lol). It turns out that Jacque and Kristi were right...Emily does get kinda crazy when she's drunk (lol). She got all hyper and was laughing alot. At one point, I tossed a wadded up scrap of paper at her and, when it hit her, she just about jumped through the roof (lol). She also chided me about not getting drunk enough. I had about the same amount to drink that night as she did. I think she was drunker since she's this tiny little thing and I'm a little bigger than she is (lol).

Just a theory though.

I was the first one to wake up on Sunday morning. I had a small headache which I blamed on the night before. So I popped a couple of Tylenol that I had in my bag. But it turns out that it wasn't all that bad. I went outside for a few minutes after that and by the time I got back to the room, it was gone. So I just wasted two Tylenol capsules (lol). When I did get back to the room, Jacque and Emily were up and around. We all woke up well before we wanted to. So it was nice to kinda take our time getting ready.

While we were, I gave Lindsay a call. I had asked her the day before if she wanted me to buy her a Vancouver t-shirt at the little shop they had downstairs. She said that would be great. But while I was outside, I noticed that the shop was closed on Sunday's. So I called her to tell her that I couldn't buy her that shirt. Apparently Emily could hear Lindsay's voice on the other end. "How can you have friends who are so cheery in the morning like that" she asked me. I explained that I was talking to my friend in St. Louis. And that not only were they two hours ahead of us, Lindsay also fancies herself as a "morning person". To which Emily replied "ugh...St. Louis". From what I've gathered over the last couple weeks, Emily didn't enjoy her trip to St. Louis last summer. She apparently has the same feelings towards St. Louis as I have towards Des Moines, IA (lol).

We checked out of the hotel at about 8:00am and headed over to the Holiday Inn to pick Kristi up. After that, we went on a bit of a wild goose chase trying to find a store that was open so I could finally buy Joe his Canadian ketchup and his girlfriend her Dill Doritos. After we did that, it was off back to our own country.

While in line at the border, for some strange reason a truck driver couldn't read the signs and tried to take his 18-wheeler through the normal customs instead of the truck customs. We were wondering what was gonna happen to the trucker. After a little bit, a customs officer came walking up to the truck. We turned the music down and rolled the windows down so we could eaves-drop on the conversation. When the official got to the truck, he asked the driver "how ya doing"? After the trucker answered (we couldn't hear what he was saying), the officer then asked "what the hell are you doing"? After yet another silent answer, the officer instructed the driver of the truck as to where they were gonna have him turn around and gave him directions to the truck customs.

As far as the entertaining part of it goes, that was about that. Oh, we had some laughs and giggles on the way home. But the excitement part of it was over. We were all pretty tired at that point. We all had a long day and a short night to sleep it off. But all-in-all, I had a pretty good time. I can't speak for the other three. But they seemed to like it, too.

Although I did kinda get the impression that Jacque and Emily were a little let down by it. I think that maybe they were expecting a time similar to the ones I've had in the past with Tom, Kristi and Kurt. I blame myself for that, though. As most of you know, I'm not always 100% comfortable around groups of people I don't know all that well. A prime example of that might be the St. Louis trip in November of 2004 when Lindsay introduced me to her brother, Ryan, and Joe. Granted, I was still pretty wiped out from the trip up to Vancouver with Kurt the night before. But I kind of felt out of place with the other three there since I didn't know them too well. But then last summer, after I knew Joe better, he came away with a completely different impression of me (or at least he said as much at the time...lol).

Granted, I knew Jacque and Emily alot better than I knew Joe at the time. But there were alot of times I kinda felt out of their loop (along with Kristi). But as I thought about it for a time at the Fogg & Suds when they went outside for a little bit, I figured that each one of them would probably feel the same way if one of them were on a trip with Tom, Kurt and I. The three of us have our own little language we speak with our own catch-phrases and other stuff that goes over most people's heads (lol). So after coming to that conclusion in the bar, I felt alot better.

And I think it paid off. Really, I think the best time the three of us had was when we were still cracking jokes with each other after we went to bed for the night. I don't remember what we were joking about. But we were just laughing away at each other like a bunch of kids at a sleep-over (lol). So my final decision on them is...


Jacque and Emily KICK ASS!!!

I'm really hoping that the three or four of us can take another trip of some sort sometime soon. I'm pretty sure that, now that we know each other alot better, the next time will be even better!

See, the thing is that it took Tom and I several trips together before we ever hit our "stride". You know....doing our act in Vancouver, the Navigators game, etc. But the one thing that Jacque and Emily have over Tom is that we had a start 100x's better this weekend. Well, that and they're a helluva lot better looking than Tom (lol).

So trust me...the best is yet to come.