"The Age Border"

The last game of the year. As always, I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I'm sad that I won't have anymore hockey games to go to for the next 4 months. And not only that, but I'll be missing alot of my hockey buddies over that time, too. But on the flip side, I think to myself how nice it'll be not having to drive hours on end somewhere for a game, only to either drive all night or early the next morning so I can either get to the next one or get home in time so I can get some sleep so I can get up for work the next day.

Both of those thoughts were running through my head as I drove back up to Vancouver, BC one last time on Saturday. Although I was looking forward to this one a little more since I knew that Emily and Jacque were gonna be there. At least I wouldn't be 100% alone this time.

I left home at about 10:00am on Saturday morning. I was gonna leave a little earlier than that so I could go mess around downtown Vancouver for a few hours before the game started. But since rain was in the forcast, I decided to leave a little later than that since I didn't want to walk around in water all day.

The line at the truck crossing at the border wasn't all that bad. It was a little longer than it had been the last couple times I had been up there over the last month or so. But I got stuck in the line where someone apparently was a little suspicious to the woman in the booth. And you know that if you're getting held up at the border getting into Canada for whatever reason, you HAVE to be guilty of something (lol). Usually, they don't give a shit about you or your papers anymore. They just ask a few simple questions and turn you loose on their beautiful country. So either the people in that white Honda Civic were stumbling in their answers, or they were making a pass at the chick in the booth (who was actually kinda cute).

I got into Vancouver itself at about 2:00. So trying to think of something to kill time, I just went back to the mall where Kurt and I walked around in last December. It's not much of a mall. And I didn't buy anything. I just mosied around there for a bit staring at the girls and the such. While I was in a record store, I saw a guy who I swear looked exactly like Pete Townsend. I know it wasn't him, though. First off, Townsend is alot taller than this guy (who was shorter than me). And the other thing is that I seriously doubt that Pete Townsend would be shopping at some chain record store in a mall in Vancouver, BC.

But, then again, I guess you never know.

When I saw that it was 3:00, I decided to go check into my hotel. Along the way, Emily text me saying that she had some "big news" for me. When I finally got a red light, I wrote back asking what it was. She then told me that it was so good that she wanted to see the look on my face in person. When I got that reply, I had a pretty good idea as to what the "news" was since it had been mentioned before. And it turns out that my hunch was correct. But we'll get to that a little later on here.

After I checked into the hotel, I asked Emily where they were. They got off to a later start than I did for whatever reasons they had. I did know that they were just driving back home after the game ended. And Emily's reply was "almost at the age boarder (sic)". Normally, "LOL" just means that I get it and was amused somewhat. But that answer REALLY DID crack me up. She's sooooooo close to her 21st birthday that she can feel it now. And I knew that within a couple weeks that whole "legal" thing won't be an issue anymore. But it still actually did make me laugh out loud.

Flipping through the stations in my room, I came across the French language CBC channel. They were airing "Desperate Housewives" at the time. Now, I've never seen an episode of that show before...even in English. So I sat there watching it dubbed in French. It was kinda trippy, really. I had no idea as to what the plot was. I figure they were desperate about something, though. But that's just a guess on my part.

After watching that for about 15 minutes or so, I started flipping through channels again. I finally settled on watching "E.T. The Extra Terrestrial". I don't think I had watched that film all the way through since it was in the theaters back in 1983. In fact, one of my fondest memories as a kid was my dad taking us to a drive-in theater here in Tacoma to watch a double-feature of "E.T." and the first "Star Wars". That was back just before VCR's became really popular. So it wasn't all that unusual to see older movies in theaters or drive-in's a few years after their initial release.

I had also told the girls that I would meet them at the Burger King up by the PNE for a pre-game dinner. So just as "E.T." was building to it's climax (I left just after the feds invaded their home and E.T. was all sick and stuff), I turned off the tv and started the long walk from the Best Western up towards the PNE. Yes, I could have drove my car. And, in this instance (especially when the game was over), looking back I probably should have. But I've made that walk several times before. Besides, I need the exercise (haha).

When I got there, Jacque, Emily and this other woman named Shannon (who I've sorta known for a while, but hadn't talked to a whole lot) were already there eating. I had told them earlier that dinner would be on me (since I had like $80 Canadian to get rid of...lol). But they were already eating. So I got my burger and fries and went and sat down. I believe it was even at the same table we had when we were there back in February.

Probably not even a minute after I sat down at the table, Emily asked me if I was ready for the big news. I told her I was, and she laid it on me. "Kristi's gonna get married to Matt in a couple weeks and you're invited to the wedding". Which was pretty much what I had expected. So I don't think the look on my face was quite what Emily had in mind. I figure it was one of ambivilence or something similar. The only minor shocker was that it was happening so soon. But, as I think about it now, it really shouldn't have been all that suprising since when I was at Jacque's place a couple weeks before, they had been talking about how he was about to be shipped off to Iraq.

Obviously that dominated the conversation at the table while we ate. And when we were done, we headed out the door and over to the coliseum. Along the way, someone commented on how all of a sudden there were all sorts of people opening up their little area's to charge for parking. I said something out loud along the lines of "that's capitalism in it's purest form. And that's an American ideology...don't forget that". There was some nervous chuckling, and the subject was dropped.

Jacque and I went to the will-call window to get the tickets we had bought and then started walking towards the doors which were about to open. It was gonna be a huge crowd, for sure. There was literally about 4x's as many people waiting in line to get into the coliseum as there usually is most of the time. And it turned out that it was a big crowd...over 13,000 fans!

Just after we got in, Jacque and Shannon recognized some people that they knew. So we all migrated over to them and they hugged the people they knew. Emily and I just kinda laid back and watched all this unfold. Then, a few minutes later, they saw some more people that they recognized and started saying hello and hugging them, too. Again, Emily and I were sorta left out of the whole thing. So to try to make us feel a little more welcome, I turned to her and cried "Emily" and gave her a hug (just as we had seen Jacque and Shannon do with the others). She kinda laughed, but didn't return the hug. So I made a note to myself...Emily doesn't like it when I hug her (lol).

My seat wasn't too bad. It was in the last row of the lower bowl in one of the corners. Not my ideal seat since it was behind the net and all. But at least it was up high where I could actually watch the entire game. But the other three had seats about half-way up in the upper deck somewhere between the blue line and the goal line in one end. Personally, I would have been much happier sitting up there than where I actually wound up. But since there were three of them and only one of me, I couldn't really trade tickets with them.

The four of us walked around the concourse killing time some time before warmups. When warmups started, we walked down to the boards in the Moose Jaw end to watch them do their thing. Jacque kept trying to get the attention of the former Thunderbirds who were now with the Warriors (Cole Simpson, Kyle Fecho and Matthew Hansen...who was the lone reason I took Kristi up to Red Deer in the first place). I'm not sure if any of them ever aknowledged her cries. But maybe one of them did. I don't know. I was sitting in the 2nd row while the three of them stood there in front of me hollering through the glass at the players so I didn't see much.

After that was over, we bought some beer and walked around a little more. I finished mine well ahead of everyone else. For whatever reason, I was feeling it that night. I had three more as the game went along. But I never really got all drunk and stuff. I'm still a smart drinker. And I knew I still had to walk back to the hotel after the game was over. Well, that and I had to get up early so I could get back for the Mariners game the next afternoon. And I didn't want to be all hungover the next day.

There was acutally a fight that night. But it didn't take place on the ice. It happened during the first intermission. There was this one guy who I figured was probably in his mid to late 30's and some other guy who was probably in his early 20's going at it. By the time we realized what was going on, security had already stepped in to break it up. They were trying to corral the older guy for the most part. And while they were doing that, the other guy came over and started barking stuff at the crowd who had gathered to watch the spectacle. He was dressed in this blue sweatsuit outfit. And he was trying to act all "ghetto" and stuff. It's always sad when a white guy here in the States acts like that. But it's even more pathetic when a white guy in Canada acts like that. Although I did get a kick out of him using the words "yo" and "eh" in the same sentance a few times.

Only in Canada.

As security was trying to apprehend the older guy, a member of the Vancouver police came along and decided to help out. He did so by dropping several knees into the guys back. I counted something like 4 of them. And, just before they picked the guy up in cuffs, he even landed a pretty good kick to his back. Since Jacque and I were the only ones tall enough to see this happening (Shannon complained that there were "too many tall people here"), I commented to her that he must want to try out for the LAPD (lol).

And of course the dumb-ass who wouldn't leave the scene (as the best idea probably would have been since he had a good two or three minutes to decide to do that and not get caught) was shocked when the rest of the cops showed up and wanted to arrest him, too. All-in-all, it was a textbook case of what happens when idiots collide.

As the game went along, I actually came to enjoy where I was sitting. The guy sitting to my right was really cool. He was fascinated by the fact that I came all the way up there from Tacoma to watch that one game. As time went along, he quizzed me on all the other places I had been to in my journies. He followed the old New Westminster Bruins back in the day before they took off to the Tri-Cities. He was also excited about the Chilliwack Bruins starting up next season. I asked him if he knew what was gonna become of the Chilliwack Chiefs in the BCJHL. He told me that there were a few possibilies, but the most likely one was that they were gonna move to Abbotsford. Which is information that Tom W just ate up when he called later on that night.

He also pointed out to me that this guy they were talking to who was standing in the aisle to my right was some sort of famous radio personality in the Vancouver area. He told me his name, but I didn't bother remembering it. I had never heard of him before. But, then again, I couldn't tell you the name of ANYONE involved with Vancouver radio. He was a pudgy little guy, though. His looks reminded me alot of former World Series of Poker champion, Greg Raymer. Although he wasn't wearing those goofy glasses.

The game itself was a wild one. Vancouver wound up winning it 7-5. Giants superstar, Gilbert Brule had himself a pretty good night even by his standards. He registered a hat trick along with three more assists for 6 points. I practically predicted his first goal. He had this wide-open chance, but missed the empty net. I then told the guy sitting next to me that "if he gets a 2nd chance here on this shift, he'll score. Brule never misses twice like that". And sure enough, about five seconds after I was done telling him that, he scored Vancouver's first goal. I missed his second goal as I had to go to the bathroom (a common side effect of drinking beer, for those not in the know). When I told that to Emily during the intermission, she said "don't worry. If you've seen one Brule goal, you've seen them all". So I guess it was just a hair short of spectacular, as most of his goals are.

Moose Jaw really didn't play all that bad of a game, though. They held Vancouver to 33 shots (a number that may seem on the high-end of average for most fans not familiar with the Giants. But they've tended to pepper the other teams in the playoffs for about 40 each night). And they were pretty efficient with their shots, too (they scored their five goals on only 16 shots). And most nights, they probably could have beaten just about any other team in the league with those facts. But the one fact that they couldn't overcome was the one that involved Gilbert Brule in a Giants sweater.

Folks, Brule is probably the best offensive force I've seen in the WHL since Marian Hossa plied his trade with the Portland Winter Hawks. And Hossa has become a pretty damned good NHL player. And I'll make this prediction now; Brule will be even better with the Columbus Blue Jackets. The tandem of Brule and Rick Nash is almost beyond comprehension for me. Perhaps it won't be quite like Gretzky/Kurri. But, at worst, it's gonna be like Bossy/Trottier. I would imagine it'll be somewhere between those two, though. Probably along the lines of Sakic/Forsberg. Now, if only Columbus can put together a decent supporting cast for those two, they'll be a force in their division for years to come.

And, when the final horn blew to end the game at 9:32 pacific time, my season was officially over. Oh sure, there was a chance that there would be a game 6 there in Vancouver the following Saturday. But I knew it wasn't gonna happen. And it didn't. Vancouver went on to beat the Warriors twice in Moose Jaw on Monday and Tuesday to sweep the four games for the WHL title. Which didn't suprise me at all. Like I've been telling people the last couple weeks (especially after watching them dismantle the Everett Silvertips...a pretty good team themselves...piece by piece with scary efficiency), this Giants club is the best I've seen since, at least the 2000-2001 Red Deer Rebels (who had, among others, Jeff Woywitka, Justin Mapletoft, Doug Lynch, Martin Erat, Jim Vandermeer, Kyle Wanvig and Shane Bendera to name a few). And more than likely the 97-98 Portland Winter Hawks (Marian Hossa, Brendan Morrow, Mike Hurley, Andy Ference, Joey Teterenko, Todd Robinson). The Memorial Cup tournament doesn't even start until next Friday in Moncton, NB. And I haven't seen any of the other teams in the OHL or the QMJHL. But I have a hard time not seeing Vancouver walking away with the title. Sidney Crosby may have been shut down by the London Knights in last years championship game. But Sidney Crosby was a one-man show for Rimouski. Gilbert Brule has a pretty good team that probably would have made it this far without him surrounding him (Mitch Bartley, Spencer Machecek, Paul Albers, Mark Fistric, Dustin Slade).

So good luck, Giants. Bring the Cup back home to the WHL!

But still, the season was over. I walked the 15 minutes back to the hotel alone in the rain. It wasn't a hard rain. But it was still typical of what we're used to up here...nice and steady. Along the way, I though mostly about Kristi's getting married. I'm happy for her if that's what she wants. I still think it's pretty early in their relationship to be jumping into something as big as marriage. But it's her life and her choice. And she seems high enough on Matt to do this. So I'm behind it. The only real thing I wished for along the way was that she would invite me to her wedding in a more personal way than to do it through Emily and Jacque (which she did a couple days later due to the encouragement of Emily). And when she did call, it was nice to talk to her for the first time since I helped her buy that car. If I had thought that she might avoid me after I loaned her that money to get that car, I probably wouldn't have done it in the first place since I wouldn't want a strain on our friendship. But I don't really expect to see it back in my pocket anyway. If I needed the money that badly, that would have also been a reason that I wouldn't have given it to her, too.

The way I figured, there were two things that could happen. It could be like Lindsay and Joe in St. Louis. Since Joe's girlfriend lives with him now, he and Lindsay don't talk much anymore. And I know that Lindsay still wants to be friends with him (which is all they ever were in the first place...like Kristi and I). And I definitely don't want that to happen. Hopefully, it'll be more like Karin and I. Really, things haven't changed much since her and Rick got married about a year ago. We still walk around the arena's chatting and joking about the games and give each other rides to different places. You know...pretty much the same as it's always been. Hopefully the same thing will apply to Kristi and myself (although I think the roadies to places like Red Deer are pretty much out of the question now...lol). But I guess we'll see.

And I thought alot more when I got back to the hotel room. I never even turned the tv back on. I just kinda sat there in silence for about a half-hour before I decided to just crawl into bed at about 10:30pm. I wasn't sleepy tired. But I was kinda worn out from the long day I had. So I just laid there thinking. This time, it was about all the traveling and hockey/football season. And how I feel worn out like that so often during the season. In a way, the best part of the summer is not always feeling so burned out like that everyday.

I thought about next season and how it's gonna be a bittersweet one since it's gonna be the last one for Tom W up here before he retires and moves down to South Carolina. Is he gonna go to alot of games kind of as a "one last big-bang" thing? Or is he gonna lay-off alot and barely go to any games? I think the answer will lay somewhere in the middle. He'll probably put on his "I'm not interested" act early in the season like he normally does. But he'll be back in action sometime around late November or early December.

And after about an hour of just laying in bed, I really started to notice how beat I was when I had a hard time mustering up the energy just to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. I eventually did, of course (lol). But that made me think a little more about all of this. Can I keep up this pace? Or, maybe more specifically, do I WANT to keep doing all of this? Like I've said before, I love the game to death. Throughout my life, with it's up's and downs and all the people who have come and gone, it's the one thing that's never deserted me. And I don't think I'll ever let it go completely.

But do I love it enough to keep on doing all of this? Of course, as I've said here just in the last few paragraphs, I get tired of being tired all the time. I know I'm only 32. But I know my body...I'm an OLD 32. And I can definitely tell that my body doesn't recover quite like it used to. It gets harder and harder to do as the years click by. Although, I have been thinking of using this off-season to try to get into a little better shape to see if that works.

But still...do I want to keep doing all of this? Do I even want to try it all again next season? I laid there in the dark going over the pros and cons of it. And while I was doing that, I came to the conclusion that I will. I may even go back to how I used to do it even up to last year. You know...get to Portland and Everett every time there is a game on the weeknights (something I didn't really do as much this year until the playoffs started). I still got to plenty of games this season. I counted them up the other day and the final total was 92. But it was still short of last years 112 and the 107 the season before that. And maybe...just maybe...I might try to break those records next season. You know...one more whirl for old-time sake.

Although it probably won't really be the last time. I'll have the same debate at this time next year with myself. And I'll probably come to the same answer. I'll try to explain it to you by using the final passage in another influencial book I read, "Ball Four" by Jim Bouton. As much as I credit "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" as my inspiration, "Ball Four" is more of what I model my little stories after. And, although it's about baseball, I think the same thing applies to me and hockey:

"You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball and in the end it turns out it was the other way around all the time"

The End

WE WIN AGAIN!!!!!!

See...exactly what I told you would happen!

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/seahawks/2002981166_hawk09.html

GO SEAHAWKS!!!!!!

LONG LIVE OUR 12th MAN!!!!!!!!

The Tommy Awards

"The whole world is a circus if you look at it the right way. Everytime you pick up a handful of dust and see not the dust, but a mystery; a marvel there in your hand. Everytime you stop and think 'I'm alive! And being alive is fantastic'! Everytime such a thing happens, you are in the circus of Dr. Lao".

-Tony Randall, Seven Faces of Dr. Lao

------------------------------

Announcer: "Live from the Temple Theater in beautiful downtown Tacoma, it's the 47th annual Tommy Awards. And now, here's your host and humble narrator...Tom George"!

(audience applauds as Tom walks out from behind the curtains)

Tom: "Thank you everyone. Thanks for coming here tonight. As you might have been able to gather by now, these are my awards for the best of this hockey and football season. And what a season it's been. I can safely say that, without any doubt, this has been the best season out of the 10 years that I've been doing all of this. Of course, I can't have that much fun on my own. The thing that makes all of this so worth-while is all of you...my friends. So I decided to make this as much of a fun tribute to you while still handing out the awards for the best and worst of this season.

Now, there is only one nominee in each catergory. Which, of course is the winner. Except for the biggest prize of the year...the "Roadtrip of the Year". As time goes along here, I'll announce each of the 5 nominees along with a small scene from each one. This year's roadies were all excellent. So excellent that, in just about any other year, any of the five probably would have won. So, of course, the decision as to which one won came that much harder. Although I will say that it was easy to come to the conclusion that all five (and just about every other roadie I've ever taken) pretty much blew the lid off the stress-filled headache of a trip that was last years summer roadie".

(audience laughs and applauds as everyone knows the nightmare story that was that trip)

Tom: "Okay. So let's get this thing rolling. I sit next to the first two presenters at Qwest Field for the Seahawks games. So let's all give a big round of applause to Portland's own Dan and Jon".

(Audience applauses as Dan and Jon walk onto the stage)

Jon: "Man...what a season it was for the Seahawks. They went 13-3 during the regular season. Undefeated at home. And they FINALLY made it to the Super Bowl".

Dan: "That's right, Jon. And who can forget the best moment from the season"?

Jon: "Yeah...you mean when A.J. Feely missed all those field goals for the Giants and the Hawks won in overtime"?

Dan: "Nope. Not that"

Jon: "Oh, well then obviously it was when Drew Bledsoe threw that last minute interception to Jordan Babineaux which set up Josh Brown's winning field goal as time ran out against the Cowboys".

Dan: "Nuh-uh. Not that either".

Jon: "Then what in the world are you talking about"?

Dan: "The best thing to happen at Qwest this season was watching a drunk Mrs. Claus give lap dances to spectators down below us. I mean, how can life get any better than that"?

(audience laughs)

Jon: "Okay. That was a pretty good thing to happen. But we're here to hand out an award which also comes with a bit of a tribute".

Jackass of the Year

Dan: "That's right, Jon. This year, the biggest jackass of them all is Texas A&M Athletic Director, Bill Byrne. I mean, after 22 years, how come all this "12th Man" stuff suddenly became important to him right after the Seahawks won the NFC Championship"?

Jon: "Exactly. But the part that made him a jackass is how he ran from all the media who wanted to ask him about all of this. Instead, he left his poor spokesman hung out to dry as reporter after radio host grilled him down into admitting that, in the end, the Seahawks had the "intellectual rights" to it since A&M didn't trademark it until 1990....8 years after the Seahawks retired the #12 and that the whole thing was just a pathetic cash-grab".

Dan: "I'll quote the great Jim Rome here and pass this message along; "come back to us when you have an actual case and your program means something again".

Jon: "Okay. Let's bring out the winner of the 'Jackass of the Year". All the way from College Station, Texas, Bill Byrne".

(The crowd erupts into boo's. Except for Tom W, who gives Mr. Byrne a standing ovation)

Dan: "Here's your trophy"

(Dan hands Byrne his award)

Jon: "And, since you're here, we decided to give you an up-close view of a special treat. I would like to bring out a fellow Seahawk season ticket holder, Jenna".

(Jenna walks out from behind the curtain)

Dan: "It's gonna be Jenna's honor to raise OUR 12th man flag here for tonights ceremony. Go ahead, Jenna"!

(Jenna starts raising the flag as "Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve plays over the PA)

Jon: "We also have another gift for you. I'd like to bring out Jennifer from the Thunderbirds games. Jennifer..."

(Jennifer comes out from behind the curtain, walks up to Mr. Byrne, and knees him in the balls. The crowd roars with approval except for Tom W....who boo's the scene. Jon, Dan and Jenna all drag Mr. Byrne off the stage)

Tom: "Thanks guys. And now here's a scene from our first nominee for "Roadtrip of the Year". This is a clip from the trip Kristi and I took to Red Deer, Calgary and Kelowna to start off the season back in September":

--------------------

Oh Canada

(Driving through the western edge of Calgary)

Tom: "Hey...check that out. It's the ski junps from the 1988 Olympics"

Kristi: "That's pretty awesome. You can even see the Olympic Rings on the side of them".

Tom: "I can see Eddie the Eagle sliding down there and taking flight even now. That is pretty cool".

Kristi: "Who's Eddie the Eagle"?

Tom: "He was this English guy who wasn't very good at ski jumping. But somehow he qualified for the Olympics and he became the biggest star that year".

Kristi: "Oh...I think I may have heard of him. What's that next to it"?

Tom: "That looks like the bobsled track. Man...that's the first time I've ever seen one of those".

Kristi: "Hey...the Jamaican bobsled team ran there. You know...like in Cool Runnings".

Tom: Yup...that's where that happened".

Kristi: "Oh god. How did that go"?

Tom: "How did what go"?

Kristi: "You know...that little song they sang in the movie".

Tom: "I can't remember".

Kristi: (after muttering to herself for a few seconds) "Feel the rythem/feel the rhyme/come on boys/it's bobsled time"! (she laughs at herself for remembering)

Tom: "Ah yes...now I remember. Here, take some pictures while we can".

-------------------

(The crowd applauses. The camera zooms into Kristi who flashes a big smile and two thumbs up)

Tom: "A few weeks ago, one of our next guests won the award for "Line of the Year". And the other one just finished up her short-lived career in the United States Army. Please welcome from Portland, Earlene and Kara"!

(audience applauses as Earlene and Kara walk out from behind the curtain)

Earlene: "Hello Kara".

Kara: "Hello Kurt's mom".

Earlene: "You know why we're here, don't you"?

Kara: "Yeah...cause Tom wants to torture us"

(audience laughs)

Earlene: "Well, that's probably part of it. But it's also so we can give out the award for "Game of the Year".

Kara: "I think we can do that".

Game of the Year

Earlene and Kara: "And the winne...."

Earlene: "Go ahead. You say it".

Kara: "Oh no...that's okay. You say it".

Earlene: "No...you do it".

Kara: "Why"?

Earlene: "Because I'm not competing with a puckbunny".

(audience chuckles...except for Tom W)

Tom W. (from the audience): "Dammit! That's my award! Give it back to me...NOW! Play something white! Good thing you're not a plumber"!

(Kara goes down to Tom's seat and whacks him in the leg with her crutch)

Kara: "Shut-up, Tom"

(Kara goes back up to the stage where she high-5's Earlene)

Kara: "The winner is......the New Years Eve game between the Portland Winter Hawks and the Seattle Thunderbirds".

(the audience applauses while former T-Birds goalie, Gavin McHale, accepts the award on behalf of both teams while the cut over his eye continues to bleed).

Tom: "Thank you, ladies. Now here's a scene from the 2nd nominee for "Roadtrip of the Year" from back in early October.

--------------------

St. Louis Trip

(Outside of the weekly farmer's market near downtown St. Louis)

Lindsay: "Well, now what do you want to do"?

Tom: "I wanna go back in the first part of it again".

Lindsay: "Why"?

Tom: "That one chick was staring at me".

Lindsay: "So? She probably just wanted you to buy something".

Tom: "No way...she wanted me".

Lindsay: "Yeah, right".

Tom: "There's only one way to find out. Come on.....let's go".

Lindsay: "Okay. But nothing is gonna happen"

(Linsday and Tom walk back into the building and make a bee-line back to the one stand where that chick was. They slow down as they approach the stand. But the chick is talking to someone else as they get there. They stand around the display for a minute or so. But the chick behind the stand doesn't seem to notice them. So they walk away).

Lindsay: "See. I told you she didn't 'want' you".

Tom: "Yeah. It was worth a shot, though. I do like that picture of Christina Aguilera over there, though. Too bad it's too big to take on the airplane with me or I might have bought it".

----------------------

(Audience applauses)

Tom: "Please welcome from Everett, Jerry and Elizabeth"

(Audience applauds as Jerry and Elizabeth walk out from behind the curtain)

Jerry: "We're here to hand out the.....what are you doing"?

Elizabeth: "I'm sending a text message".

Jerry: "Can't it wait? We're supposed to be handing out the award for "Best Moment of the Year".

Elizabeth: "No. Besides, this text messaging thing is too damned addiciting".

Jerry: "Who are you text messaging"?

Elizabeth: "Tom".

Jerry: "He's standing 15 feet away over there! Why don't you just go tell him whatever you have to say"?

Elizabeth: "Because...I wanna text message".

Jerry: "Fine. I'll just give this award while you text message".

Moment of the Year

Jerry: "Wait a minute. I don't have an envelope with the winner here".

Elizabeth: "Hmmm...that's odd. They were supposed to give it to us back stage".

Jerry: "Hold on while I go back to get it".

Elizabeth: "Oh...I just got a text message from Tom".

Jerry: "Tom...don't encourage her".

Elizabeth: "But he tells us what the winner is"

Jerry: "Okay...what wins"?

Elizabeth: "It's when Paul Allen raised the #12 flag at the NFC Championship game".

(Audience applauses...except for Tom W who boo's again).

Tom: "Thanks guys. That was truely an awesome moment. The way all 67,000 people roared as that happened. I'll never forget that moment, for sure.

Tom W (from the audience): "You're show sucks".

Tom: "Shut up, you bastard"

Tom W: "No".

Tom: "Kara...do you mind"?

(Kara gets up from out of her seat and whacks Tom W in the knee again).

Tom: "Thanks Kara. And now for a scene from the 3rd of the nominees for 'Roadtrip of the Year'. The trip Kurt and I took to Vancouver back in December".

---------------------

Is It That Obvious?

(Tom, Kurt and their mystery guest are standing around outside the Pacific Coliseum)

Mystery Guest: "Guess what"?

Tom and Kurt: "What"?

Mystery Guest: (comment deleted in the name of good taste. But the audience can hear it)

Tom: "Oh man...why did you tell us that"?

Mystery Guest: "Because it's awesome"!

Kurt: "No it's not. That's disgusting".

Tom: "No shit".

Mystery Guest: "Guess what else"?

Kurt: "I don't want to".

Mystery Guest: (Comment deleted in the name of good taste. But the audience can hear it).

Tom: "Well that's something we didn't have to know".

Kurt: "Yeah. I'll never look at him the same way again".

Mystery Guest: "All I know is that (comment deleted in the name of good taste. But the audience can hear it).

(Winter Hawks owner and GM, Ken Hodge, walks by Kurt, Tom and the mystery guest and shakes his head in disbelief).

Kurt: "Okay. I think it's time to go back inside".

Tom: "Yeah...the game is about to start again, anyway".

(They pass a security guard who looks at the three of us while laughing)

Tom (to the security guard): "I apologize for our friends crude behavior. Our American customs differ quite a bit from your Canadian ones, though".

-------------------

(The camera pans the crowd...everyone of which is now, at least, feeling queezy and unsettled. Except for our Mystery Guest)

Tom: "Okay folks...calm down. If Kurt and I could live through that, so can you. Actaully, now might be a good time to lift our spirits up a bit. Our next guests have traveled here all the way from St. Louis, Missouri. Let's give a warm welcome to Lindsay and Joe"!

(Audience give them a standing ovation as they walk out from behind the curtain)

Lindsay: "Wow! Thanks everyone for the warm welcome! It sure does add to all the things we've seen since we arrived here in Tacoma".

Joe: "No kidding. Since we've been here, we've seen a drug deal gone bad on McKinley Avenue, a backyard meth lab get busted on Portland Avenue, gang activity on Hilltop and hookers turning tricks on South Tacoma Way".

Lindsay: "Yeah. It's almost like we never left St. Louis".

(audience laughs)

Joe: "Okay...we're here to give out a special achievment award. It's the "Keith Tkachuk Award" for the biggest loser of the year".

Lindsay: "The winner of this award won it running away...almost literally. He stole one of his teammates wallets...which had a reported $600 in it, and took it to a local casino. Well, what he apparently didn't comprehend is that he was too young to gamble in a casino in Washington".

Joe: "So while lacking that knowledge, he was promptly taken into custody where the authorities found the stolen wallet still on him. He fessed up to his crime and was promptly kicked off his team via a vote from the rest of the players".

Lindsay: "Let's welcome this year's biggest loser....former Seattle Thunderbird, Roman Tomanek"

(The audience laughs AND boo's at the same time as Mr. Tomanek takes the stage)

Joe: "Now, you don't win a trophy. But we do have a couple prizes for you in the spirit of Keith Tkachuk".

Lindsay: "The first of which is a broken wooden chair that you can blame on 'poor Japanese craftsmanship".

Joe: "And the other is a baker's dozen of freshly baked Krispy Kreme donuts"!

Roman Tomanek: "Thank you...I think. I'm outta here".

(audience doesn't really know what to do. Nervous applause fills the void)

Tom: "And now for a scene from the 4th nominee for "Roadtrip of the Year". This is from February when Kristi, Jacque, Emily and I all went up to Vancouver".

------------------

Seattle is Bad.....Want Some Popcorn?

(In the hotel room after hanging out at the Fogg & Sudds for a couple hours)

Emily: "Fuck you, Tom. You're not drunk enough"

Tom: "What do you mean? I'm plenty drunk"

Emily: "No you're not. You didn't have enough to drink".

Tom: "I had 6 beers tonight. I'm feeling it. I can just hold my alcohol better than you".

Emily: "Whatever".

(Tom wads up a small piece of paper, turns around and flings it at Emily. After it hits her, she gives a little scream and jumps into the air).

Emily: "What was that"?

Jacque (from the bathroom): "What happened out there"?

Tom (laughing): "I nailed Emily with a piece of paper".

Emily: "That scared the shit out of me".

Tom: "That was funny".

Emily: "Fuck you. You're still not drunk enough".

----------------------

(The camera pans past Jacque, who smiles and waves at the camera. Then Kristi, who smiles and gives a thumbs up. Then Emily, who flips the finger at the camera)

Tom: "Our next presenter has come up here from his digs in Gresham, Oregon. Please welcome, Kurt"!

(audience applauds as he walks out from behind the curtain)

Kurt: "First off, I'd like to publicly congratulate my mom for winning the "Line of the Year" award".

(audience applauds...except for Tom W)

Tom W: "Shut up, Kurt! That award shoulda been mine and you know it"!

Kurt: "Kara...do you mind"?

(Kara goes back over to Tom W and gives him another whack in the knee)

Kurt: "Thank you. I'm here to give out the award for "Best New Hangout". Let me tell you something...this place will become a tradition for alot of us before a Winter Hawks game".

Best New Hangout

Kurt: "And the winner is....."The Acropolis" in Milwaukie, Oregon"!

(audience applauds)

Kurt: "The owner of The Acropolis couldn't make it tonight. So, to accept this award are several employees of The Acropolis being escorted to the stage by Tom W, Dan, Jon, Jerry, Jerry, Jeff, Don, Kenny, Joe, Steve, Steve, Matt, Rick, Doug, Bill, old man Tom, our host and myself".

(the rest of the audience...the women in attendence...aren't applauding for some reason)

Tom: "Thanks everyone. I know I can't wait for our next visit to The Acropolis. And now we'll".....

Joe (interupting): "Hey Tom".

Tom: "Hey...it's Joe, everyone. What do you want? You've already done you're presentation for tonight".

Joe: "I know. But something has come up".

Tom: "And what would that be"?

Joe: "My wallet is missing".

(audience laughs...while checking for their wallets and purses)

Tom: "I think I know where you can find it".

Joe: "Where"?

Tom: "The Emerald Queen Casino is just off of I-5 over by the Tacoma Dome. I think you'll find the culprit there. But you better hurry up before he gets caught by the authorities".

Joe: "Thanks for the tip. I'm on my way over there right now".

(Joe leaves the stage...along with several other members of the audience following up on that hot tip)

Tom: "Alright. I apologize for that. Now it's time for a scene from the 5th and final nominee for "Roadtrip of the Year". This is from our trip to Salt Lake City and Boise back in late March.

We Be Representing Da' 253...Naw I Mean?

(Inside a McDonalds in Baker City, Oregon at around 9:30pm on a Thursday night)

Voice 1 in the kitchen area: "Stop screwing everything up. Customers are getting pissed off at us".

Voice 2 in the kitchen area: "Then stop sending me the wrong orders. I don't get paid to get chewed out for other people's fuck-ups".

Tom: "Wanna go somewhere else"?

Tom W: "Hell no...this is too entertaining to leave now"

(they both laugh)

Teenaged male who works there: "I'm going outside for a cigarette".

Manager: "You've already had your break for tonight"

Teenaged male: "I don't care. I need a smoke"

(teeneged male goes outside)

Manager: "Sorry about all of this. What can I get you boys"?

Tom: "I'll take a #3 with a Coke".

Tom W: "I'll have a chicken salad and a diet Coke".

(they pay for their meal and take their cups over to the soda machine. Tom puts his cup under the Hi-C dispenser and pushes it....only to be sprayed by water that's shooting out all over the place)

Tom: "What the hell is going on here"?

Tom W (laughing): "I have no idea. Doesn't suprise me, though.

Tom: "I got water all over my leather Seahawks jacket"

Tom W: "No real loss there".

Tom (to the manager): "Hey...I went to get some Hi-C and the stupid machine sprayed water all over the place and on me".

Manager: "Oh, that's right. I took the nipples off the machine. I gotta get it from the drive-thru dispenser".

Tom W: "Did you take a lighter to them"?

Manager: "Huh"?

Tom W: "Never mind"

(The teenaged male pokes his head in the door)

Teenaged employee: "I'm going across the street. There are these chicks who want me".

Manager: "But you're on the clock"!

(Teenaged male doesn't answer and just goes back outside)

Tom W: "We gotta eat here again".

----------------------------

Tom: "And now, to present the final award of the evening, please give a warm welcome to Karin".

(Audience applauds as Karin walks through the curtain)

Karin: "I'm here to give out the award for 'Roadtrip of the Year'. But the one question I have right now is why don't I have any corny jokes or bits to perform like everyone else tonight"?

Tom: "Well, frankly, it's because I'm drawing a blank right now".

(audience laughs)

Karin: "I see. Well can I do something if I think of something"?

Tom: "Sure...go ahead".

(Karin rubs her chin and stares off into the distance while she thinks)

Karin: "Okay...how about this"?

(Karin whispers the idea in Tom's ear)

Tom: "Sure...be my guest".

Karin: "Kara, can you do your thing one more time"?

(Kara walks back over to Tom W and whacks him in the knee with her crutch again)

Tom W: "Hey...what was that for"?

Karin: "I dunno. I just felt like it, I guess".

(audience applauses)

Karin: "Okay. Now it's time for the biggest award of them all".

Roadtrip of the Year

Karin: "And the winner of the 2005-06 Roadtrip of the Year is.......









The early October trip to St. Louis"!!!





(audience applauds while Lindsay and Joe walk to the stage to accept their award)

Tom: "Like I said earlier in this story and all through the season, all five of these trips probably would have walked away with the award most years. All five of them were much better than solid. I could make several arguments for each one. The one thing I tried to find was that one knockout moment from any of them (like our visit to the Vancouver Hooters in 2003 when that infamous line was uttered. Or Kristi and I staggering around in a drunken stupor in that Kelowna McDonalds last year). But none of them really had anything like that. So I started looking for a weakness in all of them. Which, outside of how the first one in September ended, I really couldn't find any.

But I started thinking about it from a different angle. And I remembered a couple years ago when 'Lord of the Rings; Return of the King' won all of those Academy Awards...including Best Picture. Now, most people think the 2nd movie of the trilogy was the best of the three. But the popular belief is that 'King' won more as a tribute to the combination of the three movies rather than just on it's own.

And since St. Louis finished a strong 2nd each of the last two years to the previously mentioned winners, I figured that it was just their time. I've been there 4 times now (ahem....AHEM), and Lindsay and Joe have been nothing more than two of the best hosts anyone could ever ask for.

So congratulations, you two. You guys pulled it off this year"!

(audience applauds)

Tom: "Well, that just about does it for tonight. I'd like to thank everyone out there who has made this year so GREAT! Keep on reading through the end of this. I'll identify all the people who mattered to me at least a little bit.

But what would an awards show be without a grand finale? Not much of one, I say. So get these songs stuck in your head and try to imagine the spectacle. Thank you and good night, everybody"

(The house lights go dark while a couple of spotlights shine down on the stage)

Voice (singing): "Take this pink ribbon off my eyes"

(Kristi walks onto the stage dressed like Gwen Stefani circa 1995)

Kristi (singing): "I'm exposed and it's no big suprise/Don't you think I know exactly where I stand/This world is forcing me to hold your hand/'cause I'm just a girl/little 'ol me/Don't let me out of your sight/I'm just a girl/all pretty and petite/so don't let me have any rights/ooooooooh...I've had it up to heeeeeeere"

(The spotlight goes out on Kristi. Another one focuses in on a white curtain where we can see a small figure standing behind it in shadow. There's an organ playing one note)

Voice (speaking): "Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Electric word "life" it means forever and that's a might long time but I'm here to tell you there's something else......the afterworld.

A world of neverending happiness. You can always see the sun, day or night. So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills, you know the one---Dr. Everything Will Be Alright. Instead of asking him how much of your time is left, ask him how much of your mind, baby. 'Cuz in this life, things are much harder in the afterworld. In this life, you're on your own".

(The shadow behind the curtain starts playing a guitar)

Voice: "And if the elevator tries to bring you down....go craaaaazy. Punch a higher floor...wooooo"!

(The music really kicks in as the curtain drops to the ground. It's Emily...playing a guitar...dressed up like Prince circa 1984)

Emily (singing): "If you don't like/the world you're livin' in/take a look around/at least you got friends/I called my old lady/for a friendly word/picked up the phone/dropped it on the floor/(heavy breathing) is all I heard/are we gonna let the elevator bring us down/oh no/let's go/let's go crazy/let's get nuts/let's look for the purple banana/'till they put us in the truck...LET'S GO!

(The spotlight goes out on Emily and focuses in on a hole in the floor)

Voice (singing): "At first I was afraid/I was petrified/kept thinking I could never live without you by my side"

(Jacque rises from the floor...dressed in her finest disco-era sequined polyseter gown...singing into a Coke bottle)

Jacque (singing): "But then I spent so many nights/thinking how you did me wrong/and I grew strong/and I learned how to get along/and so you're back/from outer space/I just walked in to find you here/with that sad look upon your face/I should have changed that stupid lock/I should have made you leave your key/if I had known for just one second/you'd be back to bother me

(Kristi and Emily join Jacque...also singing into Coke bottles)

Jacque, Emily and Kristi together: "Go on now/go walk out the door/just turn around now/'cause you're not welcome anymore/weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye/did you think I'd crumble/did you think I'd lay down and die/

Oh no/not I/I will survive/oh as long as I know how to love/I know I will stay alive/I've got all my life to live/I've got all my love to give/and I'll survive/I will survive

(The three of them continue on singing the song while balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling. Most everybody is up dancing around. Except for poor Tom W...who's limping his way towards the door)

THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!!

Here's a list of everyone who contributed positively to this season:

Tacoma area
Tom W
Karin
Rick
Sharon
John

Seattle
Kristi
Jacque
Jeff
Jennifer
Elspith
Bill
"Old Man" Tom
Andrea
Megan
Jenna

Everett
Elizabeth
Jerry
Don
Kenny

Portland
Kurt
Kara
Jerry
Earlene
Doug
Steve
Tracy
Dan
Jon

Tri-Cities
Samantha

St. Louis
Lindsay
Joe
Ryan

Dallas
Pam
Lindsay

Virginia
Deborah

Denver
Bridget

Red Deer
Steve
Matt



And yes............

even Emily

Fear and Loathing at Jacque's Birthday Party

Okay...so all of this happened over a week ago (lol). My intention has been to write this for a week now. But I've had some more games to go to and when I've been home, I've been too tired. I was gonna pound it out on Thursday night after I wrote about game 7 of the Seattle/Portland series. But I fell asleep (lol). I think I spent most of my time at home last week sleeping off all the effects of last weekend. Hell, Emily called me from Calgary on Monday when she was at the Flames/Red Wings game (which I was watching on tv at the time) and she woke me up. I was so out of it, it took me a few seconds to be able to gather my wits so I could comprehend what she was asking me...what kind of shirt do you want? (lol)

So anyway, as I sit here and start typing this, I'm not sure how detailed things will be. I'll probably miss a bunch of key stuff. But the meat and potatoes will be there.

Friday, March 31

Game 4 of the Seattle/Portland series down in the Rose City. Seattle won the game, 6-3. The entire match was a minor-penalty fest. Referee Chris Savage was calling players for just sneezing. It was just insane. There were some obvious calls. Some that were borderline (in that maybe you call them in the regular season, but not in the playoffs). And others were just plain head-scratchers. My theory on it is that it was the last day of the month and Savage still had a way to go in order to meet his penalty quota for the month.

Tom went with me down there that night. Originally, he was supposed to do the driving. But when I walked outside to get into his Explorer, he was standing there alone waiting for me. It turns out that he wanted ME to drive. That scurvy bastard. He took the day off and he told me that since I had done the driving last weekend, he would take the wheel down to Portland. But I guess not. My plan was to try to catch a few z's in the passenger seat since I was really tired from not only going down there earlier in the week, but also from doing all the driving the previous weekend.

My best plans were foiled again (lol).

So being that we were already late, I still had to get some cash from the bank AND fuel my car up (since the "Low Fuel" light had just popped up on my dashboard). So now we were even later in getting down there. We still got there in plenty of time, though. But it was about 6:45 instead of the usual 5:45 I usually get there after work.

Tom is also going with me down there next Thursday for game 5 of the Portland/Vancouver series. This time, I told him he's driving or he's not going (lol).

The funniest part of the night came during the 1st intermission. Kurt, Tom and I were walking around the club level concourse to meet up with Kurt's parents. Kara called while me while we were walking and kept telling us to stop where we were so she wouldn't have to catch up with us. But we just kept on walking (lol). When we got to Mr. and Mrs. Williams, we chatted with them for a couple minutes before Kara finally came hobbling up to us. When she got there, she whacked the three of us in the knee with one of her crutches (lol).

So as we were walking away from Kurt's parents, Tom decided to get some revenge on her. So when she turned to walk away with us, he held back for a second and then gave her a light kick in the ass. "What did you do that for" she asked him. "That's what you get for hitting us in the knees like that" Tom replied. So she whacked him again. And then he kicked her in the ass again. "Tom...you're in so much trouble" she said. "How much" Tom asked her back before landing another foot on her butt. Kara started giggling and said "ALOT"!. So Tom gave her another boot. By that time, we were laughing pretty hard and all that senseless violence came to a merciful end.

And for the record, Tom was gracious in defeat towards Earlene Williams. "Tom told me about you winning line of the year" he told her. "It was a good one. I'll give it to you this time". See.....he's a good loser (haha).

Saturday, April 1

Thankfully, I had the day off at work. So I was able to sleep in a little bit. I had been invited to Jacque's birthday party earlier in the week. And the first phase of it started at 1:00pm. I was a little late getting there due to some unforseen problems, but I still got there alot earlier than I thought I would.

On my way up there, Kurt called me and told me that he had decided to head up to the game in Seattle that night. This came as a bit of a shock for me since he had just told be the night before that he swore he would never go to another game in the Key Arena again. Especially since they had taken out the old club seats which were wider than the usual seats in the arena. That and he's had some trouble's with a couple Seattle fans in the past.

And I don't think I had told him that I had Jacque's party to go to the night before. He had already bought his ticket down in Portland and he was already heading up here early. So since he was gonna be in Seattle really early, I told him that I would stick around for the early part of Jacgue's party until about 3:00 or so, then go meet him at the Lake Union Hooters.

When I got to Jacque's apartment, Emily, Kristi and Jacque's mom were already there. And from what I could tell and from what they were saying, Jacque's mom was already drunk (lol). She was just sitting in the chair watching the remake of "The Amityville Horror". I was kinda watching it, too. Just another horror movie.

As time went along, more and more people showed up. Her brother showed up with his little dog. It was kinda funny watching the dog and Jacque's cat kinda eye each other, wondering what to make of the other.

She got one funny gift from someone. It was this little mechanical dog that you attatched to things and watch it dry-hump whatever it's hooked up to. I wouldn't mind walking down the street with that clinging to my leg just to see people's reactions.

So after a couple hours of the "How-Do-You-Do" chit-chat, 3:00 rolled around and I excused myself so I could go meet Kurt in Seattle. Now, I don't know my way around Bothell all that well. But near the main road just a few blocks from Jacque's place, there was a sign pointing west that says "Seattle". Feeling adventurous, I decided to follow that sign back to I-5. It probably got me there alot sooner that I would have if I had gone back onto I-405 like I had originally planned.

We sat there at Hooters, watching the basketball games on tv. And it occured to me that this was only the 3rd time I had been there all season long. Hooters used to be part of my pre-game ritual. But it hasn't been this season. The only other times I was there this season was the one time back early in the season when Tom craftily landed us free beer for our stay that day. And one other time back in January when Sharon went to a game with me. I don't know. Perhaps the luster of the place has just worn off. I mean, the weekend before when we were in Boise, I spent a good chunk of the time texting with Emily rather than engage in our usual behavior.

Don't get me wrong...I'm still gonna visit Hooters (especially while I'm on the road...lol). But it just doesn't seem as unique as it used to. And it still beats going to Applebees or Ruby Tuesday's (haha).

When we were done with that, we headed over to the Seattle Center. We hit the arcade over by the Space Needle and played some air hockey. I won the first game, like, 7-4. But Kurt took me in the second game, 7-5. That second game was HORRIBLE! Out of Kurt's 7 goals, I knocked about 5 or 6 of them in myself. And I think 4 of my goals were knocked in by Kurt's actions (lol). But hey...we never claimed we were pro's at that game.

As we were walking over to the Key, we noticed that the Winterhawks were out in the grass field by Fisher Pavillion playing soccer. Although it seemed as if they weren't playing all that hard, the competition was still spirited (how does that sound for a soccer term?). The entire time we were watching them, we were wondering what would happen if one of them got injured during their little match. When they were done and as we made our way to the front door, I told Kurt "at least they've replaced their pillow fights".

We walked around inside the Key for a while after we got there. Kurt didn't feel like sitting down in the cramped seats. Along the way, we ran into Jacque and so I got to introduce the two of them for the first time. A little later as Kurt and I were standing over by the puck-shoot area, Jacque came around with Emily. "Guess what" she asked me. I shrugged my shoulders as I'm not that good with guessing games. "You missed me downing 4 shots of Jagermeister at Jacque's". I leaned over to take a whiff of her breath to see if she was telling the truth...and she was (lol). And you could also tell she was drunk by the way she jumped in the air, again. "Oh man" she said, "I thought you were trying to kiss me". I told her I wasn't and that I was just smelling the liquor. We all laughed and they walked away. I turned to Kurt after that and said "oh yeah...that was Emily". "Why didn't you inroduce me" he asked. I told him that I didn't have a chance to. I guess he accepted that (lol).

We decided to take one last lap around the place before the game started. On the west side of the Key, we saw Kristi walking in with her new boyfriend. She saw Kurt and ran up and jumped on him (lol). They talked for a couple seconds before she introduced Kurt to her bf, Matt. She didn't introduce him to me, though. But I didn't think much of it. I mean, she doesn't get to see Kurt alot anymore.

Kurt also got a sampling of who I hang out with during intermission...Jeff and Jennifer. They were their normal selves; Jeff making lewd comments, Jennifer giving him dirty looks (lol). Elspith's boyfriend, Bill, was also out there. At one point during the 2nd intermission, Jeff said something and Bill stepped between him and Jennifer to try to thwart any "violence". That was a bad choice as Jennifer wound up "accidently" kneeing him in the nuts. Bill doubled over in pain and Jennifer was asking what was wrong. "You kneed him in the nuts" I told her. "Did I really hit him" she asked. Bill looked up all red-faced and muttered out "yesssss". She apologized while Jeff laughed at him (lol).

As for the game, Portland won 3-2 on a late power play goal. For some odd reason, T-Birds defenseman Benn Olson shot the puck up and over the glass for a delay of game penalty and the Hawks Brandon Dubinsky scored the game-winner on a slap shot from the point. Dubinsky also scored all three of Portland's goals in the game. But all through the 3rd period, I kept thinking that the game was gonna go into overtime. It just had that look and feel to it. But after Olson took that penalty, I told the guy sitting in front of me that, at that point, I knew the Winter Hawks were gonna score. And, of course, they did (lol). I may not know alot about different things. But I've seen enough hockey games in my lifetime to see what could possibly turn the tide of a game.

After the game, Kurt and I stood around our cars and shot the shit for about 15 minutes or so. After he left, I shot off a text message to Jacque asking her if it was okay that I could sleep on her floor if I got too drunk to drive home. She said it wasn't a problem. So back off to Bothell it was for me.

I got there alot later than just about everyone else due to my last visit with Kurt. And when I did, all the "visitor" parking spaces in the lot were taken. So I wound up having to park up on the street. And when I got up to her apartment, the place was already damn-near packed! This wasn't just the small get-together like the afternoon (lol). Which kinda made me nervous. I'm not always that comfortable in large social gatherings like that. Although I recognized alot of the people there from the games (and some others who were their earlier). I just didn't know them.

So I sat there in this chair drinking a Rock Star I had bought at a gas station on my way there, contemplating exactly how long I would stick around. When I was done with that, I tossed the empty can into a garbage bag and went outside to the small cooler on the deck and snagged a Corona out of there. I popped it open with my keychain/can opener and started drinking. Already out there were these two chicks I see all the time in the Key (I think one of them is named Angela. And I have no idea as to what the other ones name is. Even though we exchanged our names. There might be alot of that as this story goes along...lol) and Kristi's boyfriend, Matt. So I stuck around out there for a while talking to them. At one point, Matt told me "you seem like a good guy. You might want to stick around out here for a little bit". I asked him why. "Cause I gotta give Jacque a lap-dance in my thong".

I trusted his judgement in that case even if I had only talked to him for about 5 minutes (lol).

A little bit later, Emily joined us outside. After a couple minutes, Jacque and Kristi came out and ordered her inside so she could watch the lap dance. Emily didn't want to watch it (or so she said...hahaha) and the two of them wound up picking her up by her ankles and wrist's and carried her inside.

I just kept plucking beer after beer out of the cooler. At one point, I cursed because all the regular Corona was gone...only that light shit was left. One of the girls told me to take a Hefe Weizen. So I started in on those (lol).

Talking to those two specifically proved to be interesting. The one of them (who I THINK was named Angela) seemed to already know that I don't have any rooting interest in any of the teams around here. Which I found kinda strange that she would know something like that. She was also telling me I should get back into playing the game "just becuase you love it so much". A point that I told her Kurt presses me about all the time (lol). There were also other things about each of our pasts we had in common that we talked about a little bit. And slowly, as time went along, I realized that I was actaully enjoying myself alot more than I thought I would. Not that I thought I would have a shitty time or anything like that. But maybe...just maybe...I'm a little better in those situations than I gave myself credit for.

I spent most of my time out there on that porch...outside of the occasional run to the loo. But there was just this steady stream of people walking out there for a smoke. So that's just how I met people (lol). There was one guy who moved here from Kansas City. So we talked about that area for a bit. When I told him about all the places I go for various games, he told me that I should get to a Chiefs game one of these days. I told him that, maybe outside of seeing a game at Lambeau Field, Arrowhead Stadium was near the top of my list.

As time went along, Kristi and Matt made their way back out there. Kristi introduced him to the four or five other people out there. But, again, she skipped over me. And I'll admit...that kinda hurt. When you're drunk, things come to mind. And I was standing there wondering to myself why she wouldn't introduce me. Is she embarrassed of me? Maybe Jacque or Emily told him something about us? I really had no clue. But I still felt like a heel there.

But I still stood around out there. Eventually, as people were slowly leaving, it wound up that just Matt and I were out there. We just kinda bs'd about different stuff. He was telling me about his job and that he's into muscle cars and the such. He also told me that he was a sergeant in the Army Reserves. We were out there for a good 15 minutes or so...just the two of us. Talking about whatever came up. He seemed like a good guy.

Moslty, though, I was happy for Kristi in that she has a boyfriend. Since we started to really get to know each other over the last year (in fact, as I write this, it's our one year anniversery of our drunk-fest in Kelowna...lol), I've just really grown to care for her. Not so much as in a "I love her" or "I wanna marry her" kind of way. But more just because I think she's one of the best people I've ever met. But, at the same time, someone who I think could be so much more than maybe she thinks of herself sometimes. And my greatest hope is that with this piece of stabililty that she has found, perhaps she can start reaching some of that potential that I know she has.

Our conversation was eventually interupted when Emily came outside. She said that she had already thrown up once, and she felt like she was gonna do it again. She just leaned over the rail and stood there like that for a few seconds. She never tossed chunks. But she spit alot (lol).

When we made our way back inside, most of the people had left. And those that were still there were getting ready to leave. I sat down in one of the wooden chairs along the wall and noticed this one chick who was holding a plastic container up to her mouth. The container already had some "liquid" in it. And she kept saying that she was about to "do it again". Eventually, the guy from Kansas City and myself helped her up and we led her to the bathroom. Once there, she almost immediately stared vomiting into the toilet. She wasn't the only one, though. In the other bathroom (in Kristi's room) there was another chick with an upset stomach. So we were pulling double-duty on the "too much to drink" front.

I stayed there with the one I helped into the bathroom for a little bit. Basically, I would help her move from leaning up against the wall over to the toilet so she could do her deed in there. And once she would get there, I would hold her hair back so it didn't get any puke in it. She kept telling me that she didn't care about her hair, "but thanks anyway". And she kept thanking me and apologizing to me. "Don't worry" I told her. "I think everyone here has been in your place before". She would tell me "I've never been this drunk before". To which I would answer "well, now you have" (lol).

I mean, she was GONE! And, even though I was feeling alot better, I knew I was still in no shape for the hour drive home. I knew I was staying there that night, so I asked Jacque if she could keep an eye on her while I went and moved my car into the parking lot. I figured since everyone else had left by that point, I could probably find a "visitor" spot to park my car in instead of leaving it on the street.

On my way out there, I kept asking myself "why am I gonna do this"? Not so much attempt to drive my car. I mean, I was still technically drunk. And drunks don't think that clearly (lol). I guess I was sober enough to know that hitting the streets wasn't on the docket. But I was asking that since I didn't even know that girl until about 10 minutes ago. And here I was, with nowhere else to go, still sloshed and about to play nurse to someone who was completely bombed out of her skull.

Then I remembered my mom telling me the story about my step-sister's husband up in Alaska. He had gotten laid-off work one day and he went home and got shit-faced. Enough so that he eventually choked to death on his own vomit (the term of which I know. I just don't know how to spell it). But he probably only died because there was nobody there to help him. And I also thought to myself that I know what it's like to be all alone and wishing someone was there to help you out with whatever...even a little. Living alone, I get that way every once in a while. Not often...maybe three or four times over the last 10 years or so. But enough to know what it feels like.

So as I parked my car and walked back to the apartment, I decided that I would be in this with her for however long it would take. Which, turned out to be most of the night (lol).

When I did get back in there, I just went back to my post. "Thanks so much for this" the girl slurred out. "That's okay. It's not like I have anything else to do tonight" I joked with her. She kinda laughed about as much as she could then asked "what's your name"? "Tom" I said. "Thanks Tom. I'm Megan. I've never been this drunk before". I just reassured her again that this is something most everyone has been through and that there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

I knew she was really out of it because she kept asking me over and over what my name was. I would tell her, then she would tell me hers again. Then she would throw up a little, and tell me again she had never been this drunk and then ask me what my name was. It was a cycle that just kind of went around and around like that most of the night.

After a little bit, I really had to take a piss. Since Kristi was already in bed (she had to work the next day), I told Megan at one point that I couldn't hold it anymore. She told me that it was okay and she leaned herself against the wall so I could get in there. There wasn't much room, so I just kinda straddled the toilet and started going. Right in the middle, she informed me that she had to throw up again. So I pinched it off and let her get back over to the crapper. She did it again, leaned back and asked "what was your name again"? I told her again and she said "okay, Tom, you can continue what you were doing". I kinda smiled at that and followed her orders. So I started going again. But, once again, she interupted me so I had to stop and let her do her thing again.

But this time, she just stayed there. I think she may have actually fell asleep. So there I was, for about another 10 minutes with a bladder that was still 75% full and screaming to be relieved (lol). Finally, Jacque and Emily came out of Jacque's room and said they had to go, too. "How do you think I feel" I told them. "I've been trying to go for the last 15 minutes off-and-on and still can't finish". Emily looked at me and said "dude, you're a guy. Just go outside and piss off the balcony". I looked at Jacque to get her approval, and she kinda nodded at me. So I made a bee-line outside, got to the railing, and let it go (lol). It took a while. At one point, I turned around and saw Emily looking at me from inside. I asked her "wanna come out and get a closer look"? She shook her head and I laughed.

And that was the last contact I had with anybody even half-way sober for the rest of the night. It was about 2:00am by that time. When I got back to the bathroom, Megan was slumped against the wall. It looked uncomfortable, so I went out to the living room and got a pillow and propped it up behind her. After that, I went back out into the hallway and sat down against the wall there. I just sat there staring at her lifeless body for about a minute or so before I passed out.

But I wasn't sleeping for long. I woke up to her pleas to get her back over to the toilet. At one point, I was suprised by how she always had something to come out (lol). But I kept making her sip some Sprite and some water each time after she did that. We all know how much dry-heaves suck. So I was trying to keep her away from doing that.

Finally, right around 3:00am, I decided that I would need a wake-up call. My plan was to leave Jacque's place around 8:00am or thereabouts so I could get on with my Sunday. But the only two people I knew who were up at that hour on a Sunday were Lindsay and my dad. And I wasn't about to call my dad for two reasons. The first being that I would have to call their home number and I didn't want to wake them up. And the other was that I didn't think he would like it none-too-much if I called him at 3:00am all drunk like that (lol). So I figured that I would just text Lindsay and she would read it in the morning. After I was done doing that, I stepped outside to my personal restroom and started peeing down to the ground. Right in the middle of doing that, I got an answer from Lindsay. Excited that there was someone else up that maybe I could talk to (who was sober...maybe. You never know with Lindsay these days, either...lol), I called her right in the middle of relieving myself. But, much to my chagrin, I got her voice mail. I left some strange message where I believe I mentioned that I was in the middle of pissing off a deck at Jacque's place. Perhaps not the best thing to say to one of my best friends, but I can't do anything about that anymore (lol).

I turned on the tv in the living room so I could watch something while waiting for Megan to call for my help again. But I couldn't find the remote control. So I sat there the old-fashioned way and just flipped through them on the set one at a time. I settled on Headline News and watched that over and over again. I must have seen the same stories at least 5 times. Not much changes overnight, that's for sure.

I also spent some time kinda cleaning up a little. Nothing too major. Just getting rid of some empty cans and bottles and stuff like that. Again, I had nothing else to do. So I figured I might as well be a little productive.

Megan finally told me that she thought she was done there and wanted to lay down somewhere else. So I led her out to the couch and covered her with a blanket. She kept telling me that she was cold. But I didn't know where the blankets might me (something Jacque had told me earlier, but I failed to register in my head). So I just went back into the bathroom and got a fresh towel from under the sink. I guess that worked since she never complained about the cold again.

I also got a used towel that was on the rack from the bathroom and laid it down on the floor next to the couch just in case she had to do it again and she couldn't make it in time. In the morning, when Jacque asked me what the towel was for and I told her, she seemed to appreciate that thought.

I curled up in the chair in the living room and we sat there talking about different stuff for a while. She asked me how I knew Jacque. I explained to her that Karin introduced me to Kristi and Emily, and I met Jacque through them. I asked her how she met Jacque and she told me that they met at church. Then she went on this strange rant about how she didn't want to go to church anymore because she was too drunk or something like that (lol). I really didn't know how to respond to that. So I let it go.

The last I remembered, it was about 5:45am. I guess that's about the time I finally passed out in that chair. But it wasn't for long as, just as she had promised, Lindsay called to wake me up (lol). After talking to her for a minute or so, we hung up and I silently cursed myself for asking her to do that. I tried to fall back asleep, but I couldn't. I just laid there in that chair, watching the story about how much invisible mold is in your kitchen on Headline News for the 5th, 6th and 7th time. It's kinda scary, really. Even the woman who seemingly had this nice, clean kitchen had alot of mold in it. But the part that cracked me up was how this one guy had his fly-swatter hanging up with is pans on the wall. When you're tired and recovering from drinking, such things amuse you.

I finally got up and went outside to get a Coke out of the cooler on the deck. As I looked down to the ground, I saw the damage we had done. There were two empty beer bottles, a crushed Red Bull can and all sorts of cigarette butts and bottle caps. Along with my urinating off there all night, I was hoping that whoever lives down there didn't take any barefooted morning strolls outside.

At some point in the morning, Jacque, Emily and a friend of theirs (I think her name is Mia or Mya or something like that), crawled out of their bedroom and made their way out to the living room. Megan woke up still feeling like shit. And I was just plain tired. Jacque announced that she was going to McDonalds to fetch breakfast and it was on her. When asked what I wanted, the only thing I could think of was an Egg McMuffin and some hash browns. I don't eat breakfast at McDonalds. So those were the only two things I could think of that they had.

While Jacque and Emily were gone, Megan decided to take a shower so she could get ready for work. But about 10 minutes in, I could hear her puking again. When she got out of there, she did the wise thing and called in sick for the day.

While we were eating, the girls decided that they wanted to watch a movie. Somehow, they made the decision as to which one mine (lol). So I looked through all of Jacque's dvd's and picked out "The Wedding Crashers" since I hadn't seen that one yet. It was pretty funny. I'll have to buy it for myself one of these days. However, there was one scene where one of the characters had too much to drink and was throwing up. I think Jacque, Emily and myself were all doing our best not to look at Megan. And I think Megan probably knew we were doing our best not to look at her (lol).

Once the movie was over, Emily and Mia (or Mya) had to go. After a couple minutes, I decided I should probably go, too. I'm not sure if it was the case, but at least I started to feel like maybe my stay was wearing out. Not so much that Jacque all of a sudden didn't like me. But I had been there all night. And it was just that time.

So I got my jersey and thanked Jacque for letting me stay there for the night and wished her a happy birthday. I then told Megan goodbye and she thanked me again (by that time, she had remembered my name...lol). And out the door I went.

And as I drove home, I just thought to myself what an amazing 24 hours that had been. I hadn't even thought about writing about it the entire time until Jacque brought it up in the morning. And I still hadn't made my decision when I got home. So I asked her once I did get back to my apartment whether or not she wanted me to write about all this. She said she didn't care. So I did (hahaha).

And I hope I'm invited back for the party next year :)

Seattle/Portland: Game 7

This was definitely a game for the ages in this rivalry. Really, all game 7's are. But this one was one that will become a legend up here. Although, from start to finish, neither team was going all-out the entire time. They both had their ups and down for sure. But as I was watching it, I could feel that epic vibe going through the Key Arena in Seattle.

In the first period, both teams seemed pretty equal. The only real thing that set them apart was the play of T-Birds captain, Aaron Gagnon. He came out and played that desperate style of hockey that you would expect out of a player of his stature and caliber. And after one period of play, Seattle was up 3-0 thanks to the natural hat trick scored by Gagnon.

Things seemed to be going from bad to worse for the Winterhawks in the first minute of the 2nd period. First, Portland defenseman Lenny Thunderchild seemed to injure his shoulder when he was checked into the boards by Thunderbird Robert Klinkhammer. Really, Klinkhammer was lucky he didn't get a charging penalty on the play as he left his feet just before hitting Thunderchild. But referee Rob Matsuoka (who I believe has been tooling around the WHL since the beginning...lol) either didn't see the hit or saw it and decided to let it go. Regardless, the Winterhawks were now without one of their more solid, dependable defensemen.

Then things got really ugly. You know, it was such an ordinary play that I didn't even really notice how it all happened. All I know is that after a play along the end boards in Seattle's end, Portland center Kyle Bailey was laying on the ice screaming in pain. For me up where I sit, I was kind of wondering what he was hollering about. Then, as he seemed to start trying to get up with a push-up type of movement before collapsing back down to the ice, I noticed what was wrong. His entire foot was dangling from his ankle area in a way that it's not supposed to.

From what I read in the Winterhawks email when I got home, they said that he had somehow gotten his skate trapped in the boards and, to be frank, snapped his ankle. As the rest of the crowd in Seattle started realizing exactly how bad of shape Bailey was in, the place started going silent at first, followed by some screams of horror coming from the stands. Since long-time Portland trainer Innes Mackie was still in the locker room tending to Thunderchild, the Seattle trainer hopped over the boards and ran across the ice as quickly as he could to tend to Bailey.

Portland coach, Mike Williamson, also made his way out to be by Bailey's side. After a minute or so, the Portland trainer came back out onto the ice followed by the Thunderbirds team doctor. Aaron Gagnon even helped the cause by skating the medical supply bag out to the scene.

After a few minutes of getting Bailey situated and his leg stablized, they propped him up onto a gurney and started to wheel him off. You could clearly see by the expression on his face that he was still in horrible pain. And I was thinking to myself that I just hope that he can walk normally again, let alone ever play hockey.

But the reason I spent so much time on this part of the game was what happened next. The crowd in Seattle rose to their feet and gave a PORTLAND player a standing ovation! The Thunderbirds even banged their sticks against the boards and on the ice in support. And I thought that was TOTAL CLASS! I'm also sure that, if the same thing had happened to a T-Bird down in Portland, the same thing would have occured.

The Seattle/Portland hockey rivalry is pretty close to 100 years old. It's long and it's bitter. Sometimes, I don't think alot of the fans care where their team finishes in the standings as long as they beat the other guy. But we also realize (especially in times like this) that it's still just a GAME played by real living, breathing PEOPLE like you and me. Of course, what they really want to see is a guy leaving the ice with a cut over his eye or a split lip from a fight. But nobody wants to see someone go out like that.

Good luck, Kyle Bailey! Hopefully we'll see you back out and about sometime soon!

As the game started back up, both teams (understandabley) seemed kind of out of it. But then Portland scored their first goal of the game. And, all of a sudden, the Winter Hawks seemed to find some new life. Meanwhile, the Thunderbirds seemed to kind of go into this defensive hole. They just didn't seem to interested in regaining that 3 goal lead. It was almost as if they decided to just Cadillac it the rest of the way while Portland started playing their asses off.

Everything Seattle tried to do was headed off by Portland before it could develop. If a T-Bird had the puck, a Winter Hawk was right there to pressure him into getting rid of it. If there was an open passing lane, it would be cut-off just as the puck started to go through that hole. The Hawks style of play from that point on reminded me of the way the Spokane Chiefs played back in the late 90's and Everett did during their expansion year playoff run.....in your face, high pressure, aggressive defense.

Of course, with all the turnovers they were creating, the Winter Hawks also got alot of shots on goal. But Seattle goalie, Bryan Bridges, seemed to have an answer for just about every one of them. Except for one in the final minute of the 2nd period. The exact time you DON'T want to give up a goal to a desperate team. So after two periods, Seattle was still holding onto a slim 3-2 lead.

And things just kept going like that as the 3rd period started. Seattle was almost in a prevent defense type of game. While the Hawks were attacking left and right. Then, with exactly six minutes to go in the 3rd, Jannik Hansen scored on a quick little snap shot that went over Bridges shoulder to tie the game up at 3 apiece. And it was with that goal that, finally, Seattle seemed to pop to life. All of a sudden, they were matching Portland's intensity out there. And there were flurries of chances in both ends as regualtion came to an end.

Portland dominated most of what was played in overtime. Seattle was still playing hard. But you could just tell that the Hawks wanted it just a little more. Then, with just over nine minutes to play in the first overtime, Portland's Jon Bubnick turned and whipped a quick shot past Bridges to win the game for the Winter Hawks. Portland won the series, 4-3.

How strange was this series? Outside of Seattle's win in game one in the Key Arena, the visiting team won all the rest of the games. Which really shouldn't be much of a shock when you consider that it seems like the T-Birds can't win a game on home ice in the playoffs anymore. In their last two series (including their 2nd round loss to Kelowna last season), the Birds are 1-6 in their last seven home playoff games. On the flip side of that, they're 6-1 on the road in those same two series. Maybe they should just shoot for 4th place in the US Division. If they did that, the Thunderbirds might just be unstoppable in the playoffs (lol).

As for Portland...well...have fun getting steam-rolled by the Vancouver Giants in the next round. During the 2nd intermission as I was walking around the concourse, I ran into Steve...the guy who used to sit next to me down in the Rose Garden. We both agreed that whoever won the series between Seattle and Portland would get whupped up on by Vancouver. "It'll go 5 games....tops" Steve told me. And I agreed with him. At this point the Giants are a bonafide powerhouse. Especially ever since they got Gilbert Brule back from the Columbus Blue Jackets. Their defense is huge and their offense is potent. And really, neither Portland or Seattle has or had a snowballs chance in hell of beating them. And the same will be said about either Kelowna or Everett in the 3rd round.

I'll be heading back up to Vancouver on Saturday for game 2 of the Giants/Hawks series. It looks like I'll be alone for that one...at least for now. I'll also be at at least one of the games in Everett next week (likely Tuesday) and then back down in Portland for game 4 of that series on Thursday. After that...we'll just have to wait and see.

"We Be Representing da' 253....Naw I Mean"!!!!!!

My official take on last weekend is that at both times it was so awesome, yet it could have been so much more. Tom and I both had an outstanding time and loved that we took that trip. Yet we still felt like we could have done a little bit more. But that was kind of stymied a little bit on the second day. But we'll get to that a little later. Here's kinda how it went.

We left Tacoma last Thursday afternoon. We just drove straight to Baker City, OR. for the night. Along the way, we pulled off in LaGrande for gas and wound up cruising around town a little bit just to see it. I had never really seen LaGrande outside of what little is by the freeway. And really, there's not a whole lot going on off the freeway, either (lol). Although we did see this one building with a really huge tractor in it. That got our attention for a second or two as we drove by it.

But the real fun started when we got to Baker City. For those who aren't familiar with the area, Baker City is a small town of, I would guess, around 5000 people or so in eastern Oregon. I think it's a nice little town. It's basically squeezed between some mountains on a plain. But there are two reasons why it's there. The first is that it's a decent place to stay for the night. There are alot of hotels there for it's size. And the other reason is for cattle ranching. In fact, the cattle industry is so huge in that area, they had these little pamphlets available just about everywhere you went. I took one from the front desk of the hotel. Here's part of what it says:

"Driving" cattle on the roadways from one pasture to another is an important and necessary part of the business now, just as it was years ago. When you travel in cow country, please be alert for these "beef factories" on hoofs. Baker County is "open range", which means that the cattle have the same right of way as the motorist. Unpredictable mama cows worry about their calves, especially while on the road. The cattle owners worry too and work hard to prevent accidents between cows and motorists. If you encounter a herd of cattle as you travel, reduce your speed. DO NOT honk your horn! Work your way very slowly through the herd. Often one of the riders will lead you through the cattle. Stay close and move slowly. If there is another auto in front of you, stay close to them so the cattle can't come between you. You can use eitehr lane, but move slowly and watch for oncoming traffic. Watch thosecows closely, they can dart in front of you or kick of you are too close. If a rider signals you to stop, please heed the warning.

And it just kind of goes on and on like that. They go on to tell you to be on the lookout for antelope and rattlesnakes and also invite you to eat some meat at one of the local restaurants. They even have a recipe for a stir-fry supper on the back of the pamphlet.

So we decided to accept their invitation to eat some beef and visited the McDonalds just a few blocks up the road. Whether or not the beef in their burgers was local or not, we never asked. The main thing between us was whether or not to go inside to eat or just hit the drive-thru. The line looked a little long for the drive-thru, so we decided to head inside to eat.

Which was both a good and bad idea. I can honestly say (and Tom will back me up on this 100%) that it was absolute chaos back in the working area there. The crew was arguing with each other about various things, they were screwing up order after order in the drive-thru (there were two other customers in the restaurant with us...both with complaints about screw-ups in the drive-thru) and just fucking off in general. The one girl was really nice to us when she kept telling us that she "would be right with" us. I think that was the only thing keeping us there. Well, that and all the entertainment going on behind the scenes there.

When she finally took our orders, she gave us our soda cups and went scurrying back into the fray behind her. I took my cup and went over to the soda machine and started pouring an orange drink for myself. But when I hit the "press" button, only a little trickle of the syrup came out...along with water spraying all over the place! It got the right sleeve of my leather Seahawks jacket soaking wet ("no big loss" according to Tom...lol). So I dumped out what little I had run into the cup and tried the Coke button. Same thing. Now Tom was laughing at me (lol). So I went up to the counter to try to flag down someone to tell them that their soda maching was haywire while Tom tried to get some Diet Coke with the same results I had.

After a couple more minutes, the one girl came back and I told her about the soda machine. Her face went pale as she said "oh my god! I forgot that I took the nipples off it earlier and we have to get it out of the drive-thru machine". I kinda drooped my head and shook in disbelief. Tom seized the moment and asked "did you take a lighter to them"? She answered with a confused "huh"? Tom then said "nevermind".

(Believe me......Kurt's laughing right now while everyone else has no clue as to what Tom meant....hahaha).


So after everything was squared away, we took a booth and sat down. Amazingly, our orders were correct. But we sat there eating in a stunned silence as we listened to all the bickering in the back. Stuff about screwed up orders, not putting more fries in the fryer, trying to find the nipples to put back on the soda machine, etc. Two of them were hollered at for flinging onions at each other. At one point, one of the guys got sick of it and went out for a smoke break despite the orders of his supervisor. After a couple minutes, he came back inside the door and announced "I'm going across the street. There are a couple chicks trying to pick me up". As the door slowly closed behind him, his supervisor yelled at him "but you're on the clock"!!!

And it went on and on like that. Even after we were done eating, we sat there listening to all of this unfold for another ten or fifteen minutes. In the half-hour or so that we were there, I counted seven people who came in from the drive-thru to complain about their messed up orders. But it was getting late. So we finally decided enough was enough and headed out of there. On the way to the car, Tom commented "I'm not sure I ever want to eat in there again. But I'd sure like to come back for another show some night".

The plan for the next day was to leave the hotel at 7:00am and get into Salt Lake City in mid-afternoon so we could get settled in there and maybe explore the area a little bit. But when I met Tom in the hotel lobby, he seemed kind of out of it. We checked out and got into the car. He then told me "we have to stay here for a little bit. I forgot something at home". I won't go into the details as to what it was since I've known him for 8 years and didn't even know he had this problem and I'm not sure how he would feel about it being revealed to everyone like this (although it's not embarrassing at all. Really, it's something alot of us may need at some point in our lives). But it's something he really needs for his basic survival. And, as luck would have it, there was a place in town that could help him out. But we had to wait until 8:00am for the place to open.

But due to his forgetting this thing, he didn't sleep a wink all night. He told me he just sat around in his room all night doing nothing but stay awake. So he was really tired at that point (being awake for over 24 hours straight can do that to you). But we were also getting hungry. So after a little looking, the only restaurant we found was this little place named "Linda's Cook Shack". It was just your basic local greasy spoon. But let me tell you something; that was the BEST breakfast I ever had! The eggs were eggs. But the sausage patty I ordered was thick and juicy, the bacon was, as Tom described, "as big as siding" and the hash browns were freshly made and buttered to perfection. And Tom said that the bowl of oatmeal he ate was "the best I've ever had". On our way out, we not only left a tip for our waitress, but Tom also walked up to the counter and tipped the cook some money, too. It really was just that good!

Damn good coffee, too!

So after we picked up the item Tom needed, we headed out of town. We both agreed with each other that we should visit Baker City again...just for kicks at the McDonalds and for more breakfast at "Linda's Cook Shack".

The only bad news was that we were now 2 hours behind schedule. Tom apologized a few times. But I kept telling him that it was okay and that his living was alot more important than getting to Salt Lake City early. All along the way, he kept dozing off for a few minutes at a time before waking up. I kept myself entertained by listening to the Jim Rome show and some of the various cd's I have.

We did pull off in Twin Falls, Idaho for gas. As you approach town there, you take a bridge over the Snake River Canyon. They say that you can still see the ramp that Evel Kneivel used in his failed attempt to jump across it in his little rocket ship back in the mid-70's. But we looked all over for it and couldn't find it.

We got to the hotel there in SLC at about 5:00pm. I went into my room and laid down for a few minutes to rest before taking a shower. After I was done and dressed, I gave Tom a call to his room and asked if he was ready. He sounded like I woke him up when I called (lol). So he scrambled to get ready and we headed off to the E Center for the game.

The hotel was just a few blocks from the arena. So we just walked up there. Along the way, we found a bar that we decided to go to after the game. It was called "The Puck: a bar". How could we turn down a place named after a piece of vulcanized rubber?

So we walked up to the arena and got our tickets at will call. Tom hung out there a little bit so he could wait for a friend of his who was gonna go to the game with us. I went inside, bought my popcorn and pop, and started taking pictures of some of the Alaska Aces. There are three former Seattle Thunderbirds on thier team: Justin Maiser, Barrett Heisten and Kimbi Daniels. There is also a former Winter Hawk on that squad.....Patrick Wellar. With pedigree like that, no wonder they're running away with 1st place in their division (hahaha).

Mostly, I took pictures of Maiser. Jacque asked for him specifically since her mom is a big fan of his. She also wanted me to get an autographed puck from him. But when I asked the guy at the infomation booth, he said that the bus bay was locked up and fans weren't allowed to go down there. I also asked him if there was any way I could get down to the visiting locker room door or something. He said "nope. Nobody's allowed down there. But you can get autographs of a Grizzlies player at that booth over there after the game". I really wasn't interested in that. In fact, I'm not much of an autograph hound as it is (okay....outside of the Sea Gals....lol). But after she asked, I told Jacque that I would try to get it. And I did try. I just wound up empty-handed.

Tom's friend was a 40-something woman named Michelle. She spent the last two years up here in the Tacoma area working for the county in some capacity. She was a nice woman. I also think she's the main reason Tom chose this trip over the rest of them (lol). But I don't blame him. I was teasing him the whole way down there about how he was gonna get some in Salt Lake City.

She seemed particularly interested in some of our old travels together. So we regaled her with our stories of fear and loathing. She just laughed and laughed at them. At some point, she asked us why we weren't acting like that now. Tom told her that he wasn't feeling all that good and that was the main reason. At one point, during a stop between plays, they played a rap song over the PA. Tom yelled out his famous "PLAY SOMETHING WHITE" line. She laughed at that. But the people around us seemed unusually shocked by that statement (lol).

Contrary to popular belief, it's not all that hard to buy beer and other types of alcohol in Utah. So we had our fair share of beer while watching the game. Although buying beer was alot like it is in Tri-City in that you have to go to this special booth to get a little paper bracelet confirming that you're 21.

Speaking of the Tri-Cities, former American Ryan Kinasewich scored a goal and added an assist in Utah's 4-1 victory over the Aces. The only goal for Alaska was scored by former T-Bird Kimbi Daniels. The Grizzlies goaltender was outstanding in net. He made several spectacular saves as the night went along. I really couldn't tell you much about how the teams played, though. Our tickets were down in the third row to the side of one of the face off circles. It was a good location to snap some pics of the game. But, frankly, those seats drive me nuts (lol). They're okay when the play is right in front of you. But I can't see shit when they're down in the other end. When I watch a game, I already know what happened after it happens. The thing I really want to know is WHY did that just happen. And you just can't tell when you're sitting that close.

But that's the screwed up thing about the Grizzlies ticketing website. Basically, you pick a price range where you want to sit. Then they just confirm that you bought the tickets. They don't even tell you where the tickets are so if you don't like them, you can go back and try to buy them somewhere else. We didn't even know where we were sitting until we got the tickets from will call. And since the game was a sellout, I just had to live with sitting down there.

Walking around the concourse during the second intermission, a guy noticed my Red Deer Rebels jersey and asked about it. When I told him I was from out of town, he informed me that he had moved there three years ago from Stockton, CA. "The thing I like most about this area is that you're not constantly worrying about getting shot at like you do in Stockton".

I've been to Stockton. And I agreed.

When the game was over, we went outside and Tom asked Michelle if she wanted to go to "The Puck" with us. She said that she was meeting some friends somewhere else. But the next time that Tom was in town to give her a call so she could "show you around town a little". After she said that, she winked at him. Then she shook my hand and left. I felt sooooooooo bad. Normally, it's old man Winter playing the role of cock-blocker to me. But it was the opposite this time. I apologized to him. But he said "forget about it. I'm too tired to do anything, anyway. Let's hit the bar".

And that we did.

Now in Utah, we learned that you just can't walk into a bar, belly up and start drinking. Bars there are actually clubs. And you have to be a member to get in. So when we walked inside the doors of "The Puck", the woman at the door asked us if we were members. My first reaction was "you have to be a member to get in here"? Then she said "you guys are from out of town, huh"? I said yes and that's when she explained that to me. But she offered me a temprorary 3 week membership for $4.00. That seemed reasonable enough. So I forked over the money to her. She said that since he was with me and I was now a member, Tom could come in with me under my membership. Hearing this, Tom immediately said "these guys are with us, too". At some point during my conversation with the woman at the door, he had struck up a dialogue with these three guys from Denver who were also at the game. The woman asked me "are they with you"? Luckily, my focus was sharp and I told her "yup". So I did my good deed of the weekend...I cheated a bar in SLC out of a few bucks so some guys from Denver didn't have to pay their way in the honest way (hahaha).

Now the slogan for "The Puck" is "We Love Hockey". Which they do considering all the hockey memorablia in the place. But on all but one of the screens in the bar was the NCAA tourney game between Washington and UConn. Which was fine with me. My Huskies were on and they were in a tight game. However, I quickly learned that I was the only one rooting for the good Huskies. Just about everyone else in the place (including...not too suprisingly...Tom) was rooting for the OTHER Huskies. But when Washington lost in overtime, I realized how tired Tom really was. Ordinarily, he would have made a big fuss over the fact that a team from Washington had lost and tried to embarass and humiliate me. But he didn't. He just sat there drinking his beer.

After he had a couple brews, he told me that he was really wiped out and that he was going back to his room and crawl into bed. I told him that I had the tab and off he went. Not too long after that, most everyone else at the bar left, too. So I called over the bartender (who was this smoking-hot chick) and ordered another Corona. When I was through with that one, I asked for the bill and paid it. When she came back with my change, she asked me what part of Washington I was from. "How could you tell I was from Washington" I asked her. "Becuase you were the only one rooting for them" she responded (lol).

So I told her that I was from Tacoma. She said that she had never been up there, but her brother lived here for a couple years and that he really liked it and he was thinking about moving back up there someday. Since there was nobody else there at the bar, she started telling me about her travels. She spent some time in Las Vegas a year or so ago. That's where she learned to bartend. She also tried Los Angeles, but left there after about two months. She decided to move back to SLC since "it's really not that bad".

But we just sat there for about a half-hour chatting about dumb stuff. Then I looked at the clock and realized that it was after midnight. I had to get back to the room and get to bed since we had another early wake-up call in the morning. She told me to "have a good trip" and also reminded me that I still had another 20 days left on my membership (lol). I told her I would see what I could do as I was leaving.

And that was that (lol).

We checked out of the hotel the next morning and went for breakfast at the Denny's next door. The waiter screwed up my order (lol). But I wasn't in much of a mood to argue about it. Basically, he just forgot my slice of ham in the Lumberjack Slam. But everything else was there. So I just ate what I had.

After that, we went to the mall a few blocks away so I could buy a Utah Utes football jersey and mini helmet. The store was called "Fanzz". When we arrived in there, the guy asked us if there was anything I was looking for. I told him about the jersey and mini helmet and he pointed me to the area where they were. He asked why I wanted those things and I said "I try to buy a jersey and mini helmet from the local college team wherever I go". He asked if we were from out of town and I gave him the same explaination that I had everyone else so far. Then he told me "since you're from out of town, you can buy any of the Utes hats on that rack for $15". That seemed like a decent deal, so I bought a fitted baseball hat that had a sticker price of $25. It turns out he was the owner of the store. So I thought that whole thing was pretty awesome.

Somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, Tom started shuffling through my cd bag. He found a Wu Tang Clan cd that I had forgotten I even had in there. Then a shocking thing happened; "let's put this in your player. I wanna see what it sounds like" he said. So we did. He was tripping on some of the things they were saying between songs. At the end of it, one of the Clan goes on this rant where he says "Naw I mean" alot. Tom laughed at that. Which I don't blame him for. It is kinda funny in a way.

We arrived in Boise to some rather foul weather. About 10 miles outside of town, it just started raining like mad. Then, as we got closer, the rain came down even harder. Eventually, it turned into hail. While I was trying to concentrate on the road, Tom kept trying to point various things out to me. I was wondering how he could see all of this when I could barely see out the windshield (lol).

But we sloshed our way into the hotel parking lot. After going to our respective rooms and refreshing ourselves, we headed out for dinner. We picked an old standard...the new Hooters in Boise. It was like any other Hooters out there. Frankly, I think I might be getting bored of the place. I spent most of my time in a text message debate with Emily over who would win a fight between Evel Kneivel and Chuck Norris. Tom kept asking me what we were talking about. I kept telling him it was none of his business. I sent one to Emily telling her that I couldn't believe that I spent my time at Hooters debating that with her. I finally told Tom what the two of us were talking about as we were leaving. He shook his head and asked "is Emily better than these Hooters girls here"? Just as he was asking that question, Emily sent back her reply to my last message. I looked at it, laughed and told Tom "she answered it for you". I showed him what she had written. It said "Hooters girls have nothing on me LOL".

He shook his head again and said that we were both nuts.

We went directly from Hooters to the newly named Qwest Arena. When the doors opened, we started walking in. When we got to the security guy, he opened my bag and told me that "they don't allow camera's like that inside". I told him that they let it in last year. But he whipped out this piece of paper with the Steelheads logo on it that said, in so many words, that my camera was considered "profesional quality". That got Tom all riled up. "That's a load of bullshit" he said. I just folded up the tent and started walking back to the car with my "professional" camera. All along the way, Tom just bitched and bitched about it. At first, I just shrugged my shoulders about the whole thing. But he started getting me all juiced up about the whole thing, too.

Oh yeah! For the first time on this trip and the first time since that Navigators game last summer, the "Tom & Tom Show" was about to kick into gear.

When we got back to the front door, Tom started yelling "don't bring your camera's. There's a Nazi standing there that's gonna throw you out if you even try"! As we walked past the security guy, Tom asked me "how are we gonna pay for this trip now that we can't sell those pictures of this game for hundreds of dollars on the internet"? I said "I don't know. Perhaps we can take my professional camera to a pawn shop and sell it. Maybe that'll get us a little way before we have to resort to hitchhiking". Then Tom said "maybe we can scalp our tickets. If this game is so god damned important that they won't let camera's in, we can at the very least get Super Bowl prices for them". The security guy gave us a dirty look as we walked past him.

Once inside, I turned to Tom and said "let's go to the bar for a beer". He thought that was a good idea so up we went. When our waitress approached us and asked how we were doing, Tom (inspired by that Wu Tang Clan cd from earlier in the day) answered "we be representing the 253.....Naw I mean"? She gave us a funny look and said "okay...what can I get you boys"?

For some odd reason, the Steelheads decided to hand out their end of season awards before the game. Before they announced the winner of each award, we were telling each other (loudly) that former Tacoma Rocket and Sabercat, Marty Flichel, should win that award. And each time, someone else won it. At the end of the whole thing, there were like 9 or 10 Steelheads out there with their awards. Everyone but Marty Flichel. Looking down there at all the guys who won these awards, Tom said "it's like pre-school out there. Everyone gets a little sticker star".

The Steelhead opponent that night was the Fresno Falcons. And Fresno wound up winning the game, 2-1. But much to our pleasure, the only goal that Idaho scored was from the stick of Marty Flichel. But as one last slap to the face, Marty didn't even get one of the three stars that night. "This place is bullshit" Tom commented on our way out. "No cameras, flat beer and no awards for Flichel". I guess he was right (lol).

I asked him if he wanted to hit a bar for a night cap. He told me he didn't feel like it and that he just wanted to get something to eat on the way back to the hotel. We tried stopping at a Taco Bell for a Southwest Steak Bowl (a favorite of both of us). But when we got to the drive-thru, the kid on the other end told us that they were shorthanded and it would take 15-20 minutes to process our order. That wasn't good for us. So we just hit a gas station instead and bought some chips there to munch on.

While laying on my bed watching some tv, I noticed through a little crack in the curtains that it was snowing outside. This was no more than about 10 minutes after the weather man said that it would be clear that night (lol). It didn't snow all that much, though. There was still a little bit on my car in the morning. When I pulled around to pick up Tom in the lobby, he was suprised at the snow. He didn't even know that it had snowed the night before.

We went to the Denny's next door to our hotel. And, just as the day before, the waitress screwed up my order. Once again, she didn't get me the piece of ham that came with the Lumberjack Slam. But this time, I protested a little. I also had Tom covering my back as he told her he clearly heard me order the Lumberjack slam. But she said that I didn't say that. I was pretty pissed at that point. But I decided to just let it slide. I told Tom that I was paying for the entire meal. And I simply got my revenge by not tipping her.

And that was about that. We just raced back home after that. Tom tried calling his cousin in Richland to see if they were home for a quick visit. But they weren't there at the time. So we just drove back home instead.

Like I said in the beginning...this was a great weekend. But it had that feel that it could have been so much more. Mostly it was because of his bad night on Thursday. But it was still a good time. Who knows....perhaps there will be more in a few weeks.